REDNECK REVIEW #1 2009

DIRTY JACK'S
JAN.30.09

AGE OF DISTRUST

THIS IS A YOUNG BAND THAT CAME TO ME LAST YEAR WANTING TO PLAY THE DIMEBAG TRIBUTE SHOW WHICH WAS CANCELLED (THANKS TO DOUG @ AT THE BLUE NOTE AND HIS SHORT TERM MEMORY). ALL I'VE HEARD FROM THEM WAS THEIR MUSIC OFF MYSPACE, AN AT FIRST I WAS NOT LIKING THIS. IN MY OPINION IT WAS NOT GOOD. THIS IS PROOF THAT MYSPACE MUSIC DOES NOT GIVE GOOD TALENTED BANDS JUSTICE!!!
THEY OPENED THE SHOW AN HOLY SHIT..... IT WAS LIKE THUNDER. THE TALENT THESE 4 YOUNG MEN HAVE IS UNLIKE NO OTHER. FROM THE VOX'S OF MATT TO THE SMASHING OF THE DRUMS FROM JOHN AN THE TWANGIN OF THE DUELING 6-STRINGERS YOU WILL SEE THE DETERINATION, SKILL, AN LOVE FOR MUSIC THESE GUY'S HAVE. NOT ONLY DO THEY PUT ALL THEY HAVE INTO THEIR MUSIC, THEY DO THE SAME AS A BAND. THEY HAVE A SOLID RELATIONSHIP WITH EACH OTHER THAT IS A BOND. AGE OF DISTRUST IS A BAND THAT IS A CONTENDER TO ALL THE BANDS OUT THERE. MY ADVICE TO OTHER BANDS, STUDY THESE GUY'S AN WATCH HOW THEY DO IT. I WILL CHALK THIS BAND UP THERE WITH PAIN LINK- CHIZEL- AZYGUS-RETRIBUTION-WRECKED AN NOW AGE OF DISTRUST. BOY'S SHOW THE METAL HORNS PROUDLY.... 4 ROUNDS OF JAG 3:1!

WRECKED

YET ANOTHER WELL DONE GIG FROM THE INDIANA BAND WRECKED. GREAT MUSIC GREAT SHOW, THEY MADE IT ALL WORTH IT FOLLOWIN AGE OF DISTRUST. SO KENT...TIMMER...DOOGLE...CHRIS RAISE THE GLASSES FUCKERS!!!!! 4 ROUNDS 3:1!

ONE FINGER GRIP

FIRST OF ALL THE NAME OF THE BAND IS GAY AS HELL!!! THERE IS REALLY NOT A WHOLE LOT TO SAY BOUT THIS GROUP, ONLY BECAUSE SEVERAL PEOPLE AT THE BAR AREA SAID AN I QUOTE "THE MUSIC IS ALL THE SAME ,ONLY THE WORDS CHANGED!" ALL I CAN DO IS SLAM THE NAME OF THE BAND.... THE CROWD IN THE BAR DID THE REVIEW!!! 3 ROUNDS FOR THE BAR CROWD. 1 ROUND FOR THE BAND JUST BECAUSE THEY SHOWED UP!

PHANTOM

OK I WAS TOLD TO GIVE THIS BAND A CHANCE..... AN I DID. LETS START WITH THE GROUPIES THAT CAME WITH THEM.....
1) WHO THE FUCK DO YA'LL THINK YOU ARE? YA COME IN AN TAKE OVER THE PLACE? YA'LL THREW OTHER PEOPLE'S STUFF ON THE FLOOR TO TAKE ALL THE CHAIRS. THEN YA'LL DISRESPECTED THE OTHER FANS THERE JUST BECAUSE YA'LL DONT LIKE THE WAY THEY ACT! HEY FUCK YOU!!!!

2) THIS BAND CAME WITH THEIR OWN SECURITY TEAM? WHAT DOUCHE BAGS!!! YA'LL ARE GETTIN PAID BOUT 15 BUCKS TO PLAY A LOCAL SHOW. I KNOW THEY ONLY CAME TO PROTECT THE GRANNY GONE WILD GROUPIES SO US "REAL" FANS WOULDN'T KICK THEIR ASSES!!! THE SECURTIY TEAM WAS A JOKE. THIS LIL BALD GUY THINKIN HE'S DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER, DUDE GROW UP AN GET A REAL JOB!!! WE WOULD LOVE TO SEE THESE GUY'S AGAIN SOMEDAY !

LETS GET TO THE BAND NOW...... SOME RUDE MOTHER FUCKERS. YA SAY HEY WHATS UP, HOW YA DOIN? AN THEY WALK RIGHT PAST YA LIKE YER NOT THERE! PLUS I WAS TOLD ONE OF THE MEMBERS USED TO WORK THAT PIECE OF SHIT BOOKIE WILLIS PRODUCTIONS... WELL NOW I SEE WHY THE BAND IS SO RUDE... THEY HAVE NO STAGE PRESENCE WHAT SO EVER!! THE NEW (I GUESS) LEAD SINGER HAS A GREAT VOICE BUT STANDS THERE LIKE HE HAS A DILDO UP HIS ASS. MAYBE THATS THE SECRET......NOW I KNOW HOW HE HITS THE HIGH NOTES!!!! THIS IS A BAND THAT SHOULD JUST QUIT! THERE IS NO LOVE FOR THE MUSIC... ITS ALL BOUT "LOOK AT US WE ARE BETTER THAN YA'LL" AN THAT GOES TO THE GROUPIES THAT CAME WITH YA'LL...NEXT TIME JUST STAY HOME, PUT YER LIL SECURTIY TEAM GUARDIN THE FRONT DOOR, HAVE THE GRANNIES GONE WILD PARTY THERE, AN PRETEND TO DO A SHOW!!! WHAT YA CAN DO IS GET RID OF THE RENT-A-GUARDS AN GET SOME EMT'S THERE TO MAKE SURE THE DRUMMER CAN GET SOME AIR UP THERE ON STAGE!!!! NO ROUNDS FOR ONE OF THE RUDEST, UNTALENTED, LOCAL BANDS IN OHIO!

POISON... THE REVIEW!

8-16-08
RIVERBEND
CINCINNATI, OHIO

WE ARRIVED (AMY AN I) TO THE SHOW AN SEBASTIAN BACH HAD ALREADY STARTED. WHAT A PERFORMANCE! EXCELLENT STAGE PRESENCE AN ALWAYS A TREAT TO SEE THIS GUY STILL DOIN IT AFTER 20 YEARS. DOKKEN CAME ON NEXT... SHORTER PERFORMANCE THAN USUAL. I EXPECTED IT TO BE A LITTLE LONGER, BUT LIKE ALWAYS, IF YOU'RE A DOKKEN FAN, YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED THIS PERFORMANCE! DON DOKKEN STILL HAS IT. GREAT VOICE AND AN EXCELLENT BAND! FINALLY, POISON TOOK THE STAGE WITH A HUGE BANG! 22 YEARS OF COMMIN TO CINCINNATI, THEY STILL PUT ON ONE HELL OF A SHOW! FOR ALL THE 80'S METAL HEADS OUT THERE, THIS WAS YER SHOW AN THANK YOU, BRET, FOR THE KIND WORDS FOR THE LATE MR. K! HE IS MISSED. CEE CEE, LOOKED LIKE HE WAS A LIL WORE OUT. I THINK HIS DAYS OF RUNNING ON STAGE WITH THE WILD HAIR IS ABOUT TO SOON COME TO AN END. BUT AS FOR EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE BAND, GREAT JOB AND THANK YOU FOR A WONDERFUL NIGHT!

NOW... LET'S GET TO THE BRUTAL PUNISHMENT.

#1. PAUL D, WE HAVE WITNESSES WHO SAW YOU SINGING POISON SONGS (IT'S OK... WE STILL LOVE YOU!).

#2. BRET MICHAELS AFTER-PARTY AT THE BLUE NOTE WAS PROBABLY THE BIGGEST JOKE EVER! THE BEST PART ABOUT IT, AN I WILL SALUTE DOUG ON THIS, BECAUSE HANDS DOWN DOUG IS THE MAN FOR PUTTING THE SHOW ON THERE AND BRINGING IN ALL THOSE PEOPLE BECAUSE HE MADE AWESOME BAR SALES THAT NIGHT, WHICH REALLY LOOKED GOOD. AT NO POINT DO I BLAME DOUG OR THE BLUE NOTE STAFF FOR ANY OF THE PROBLEMS THAT OCCURRED. THE DJ WHO HOSTED THE AFTER PARTY IN THE VIP ROOM WHILE WAITING FOR BRET'S ARRIVAL WAS A JACKASS! I REALLY HOPE HE DIDN'T MAKE A DIME BECAUE IF HE DID, HE RIPPED THEM OFF. HE SUCKED! MY ADVICE TO THE BLUE NOTE, NEVER EVER HAVE HIM THERE EVER AGAIN! MOVING ON... BRET MICHAELS... YOU'RE AN ASS! YOU SHOW UP FOR 12 MINUTES IN THE VIP SECTION OF THE BAR AFTER PEOPLE PAYED BOOKOO BUCKS TO MEET AN GREET YOU. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED... WELL NO, YOU SHOULD BE UTTERLY EMBARRASSED FOR THAT AFTER SHOW PERFORMANCE! THESE PEOPLE PAID HARD EARNED MONEY, AN YOU MADE THEM WAIT ALL NIGHT... YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP TIL ALMOST 1:30! ESPECIALLY BRINGING IN BIG JOHN WITH YOU, WHO HAS THE IQ OF A FUCKIN BOWLING BALL HOLE! THE WORST PART IS YOU GOT PAID TO DO THIS! YOU WERE PAID TO SHOW UP AT THIS PARTY AND MINGLE WITH YOUR FANS AN YOU DIDN'T. THAT'S PITIFUL AND PATHETIC! THAT'S WHY I'M SURE THAT CEE CEE'S PARTY WAS PROBABLY 100 TIMES BETTER. NOW, I HEARD THIS STATEMENT MORE THAN ONCE THAT NIGHT, AN THIS COMES FROM ALL THE HOE BAGS WHO ONLY CAME BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO BE ON ROCK OF LOVE. I HEARD MORE THAN ONCE THAT THEY WERE GOING TO GIVE BRET THE BEST BLOWJOB OR FUCK HIS BRAINS OUT TO BE ON THE SHOW. WHAT A JOKE! I'VE SEEN BETTER WOMEN ON A JENNY CRAIG COMMERCIAL THAN WHAT WAS THERE LAST NIGHT. NOT ONLY WERE THEY TRASHY, BUT THEY WERE JUST DOWN RIGHT SMELLY AND DISGUSTING. IT WAS GREAT TO SEE ALL THOSE PEOPLE THERE BUT THE ONLY REASON THEY CAME WAS BECAUSE THERE WAS SOMEBODY FAMOUS THERE. THAT'S A SHAME BECAUSE LOCAL TALENT NEEDS THE SAME SUPPORT AN THEY ARE THERE WEEK AFTER WEEK WORKING THEIR ASSES OFF FOR MUCH LESS THAN BRET WAS PAID! THESE PEOPLE PAID TO SEE A FAMOUS PERSON... $20 JUST TO GET IN THE DOOR AN WAY MORE TO GET INTO THE VIP SECTION! YOU CAN COME TO GREAT SHOWS FOR $5 EVERY WEEKEND... AND THE BAND MEMBERS WILL MINGLE WITH YOU ALL NIGHT! I CHALLENGE EVERY ONE THAT WAS THERE AT THE BRET MICHAEL'S AFTER PARTY TO BE AT THE BLUE NOTE FOR THE NEXT LOCAL SHOW. BRING YER ASSES BACK OUT... SUPPORT CINCINNATI'S LOCAL BANDS! PROVE IT TO THEM THAT YOU'RE THEIR FANS AS WELL AS POISON FANS. HORNS UP FUCKERS!

P.S. THESE ARE SHOUT OUTS: I WANNA SAY HEY TO KRIS LANE, SHANE MOSLEY, PERK, AN TO MR. RILEY HIMSELF... THANKS FOR THE BEER! HATS OFF TO THE BLUE NOTE SECURITY STAFF FOR DOING AN EXCELLENT JOB OF CONTROLLING THE CROWD WHILE BRET MICHAEL'S WAS BEING JERKED OFF BY BIG JOHN IN THE TOUR BUS PARKED RIGHT OUTSIDE. HORNS UP FUCKERS!

REDNECK REVIEW #7

APRIL 6, 2008
THE BLUE NOTE
CINCINNATI, OHIO

JOEY BELLADONNA

I ALREADY KNOW WHAT YER GONNA SAY! BLUE NOTE... SUNDAY NIGHT... THAT'S RIGHT!

I MUST SAY THIS WAS ONE OF TRANSFUSION ENTERTAINMENT'S BETTER SHOWS THERE, ACTION PACKED TO THE HILT! THERE WERE SOME SHITTY BANDS AN SOME AWESOME BANDS, BUT THIS IS NOT WHAT THE REVIEW IS ABOUT. THE REVIEW IS FOR JOEY BELLADONNA AN HIS KICK ASS BAND. HERE'S AN INTRO OF THE BAND:
ON THE 6-STRINGER FROM HELL, JACK FROST AN HE IS NOT COLD! PAUL MARCIANO ON THE TOM TOMS, R.C. CIEJEK ON THE 4-STRING PLUCKER, AND MR. JOEY BELLADONNA ON THE VOX'S! THEY HIT THE STAGE WITH A HUGE IMPACT. A LOT OF ENERGY FROM THIS BAND! NOW WHILE THEY BELTED OUT THE FIRST SONG THE SOUND GUY ALMOST SCREWED THEM, THERE WAS MUSIC PLAYIN ON THE MONITOR AN IT WASN'T THEM! NOW IF THIS WAS ANY OTHER BAND THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN A PROBLEM, BUT NOT THESE GUYS. THEY FINISHED THE FIRST SONG, REPORTED THE PROBLEM, AN WENT TO THE NEXT SONG. THEY PLAYED SOME NEW HITS FROM JOEY THEN TOOK US BACK IN TIME TO AN ERA OF THE HAIR BANDS METAL, YES CLASSIC ANTHRAX! IT WAS A TREAT, NOTE FOR NOTE, LYRIC FOR LYRIC, IT WAS RIGHT ON THE MONEY AN FOR THE PEOPLE WHO LEFT EARLY BECAUSE THEY HAD TO WORK ON MONDAY..... OH WELL YA MISSED ONE HELL OF A SHOW! IF ANYONE HAS OR HAD THE QUESTION "DOES JOEY STILL GOT IT?" THE ANSWER IS YES! I WENT BACK IN TIME THAT NIGHT REMEMBERING ALL OF MY FAVORITE BANDS, QUIET RIOT, TWISTED SISTER, SLAYER, EARLY METALLICA, AN PANTERA. ALSO THE REST OF THE BAND ARE SOME OF THE BEST GUYS TO MEET. THEY LOVE THE FANS AN I REALLY THINK THEY ARE FANS OF THEMSELVES AS WELL. SO I WILL GIVE THIS BAND 4 ROUNDS OF JEG 3:1 PAIN LINK STYLE! BE SURE TO CHECK OUT THESE SITES: JOEYBELLADONNA.COM AN WWW.MYSPACE.COM/JOEYBELLADONNA TO CHECK THEIR TOUR DATES!! HORNS UP FUCKERS!

REDNECK REVIEW #6

MARCH 1, 2008
THE A1A
LEXINGTON, KENTUCKY

SHATTERBOX
THIS IS A 5-PIECE BAND FROM DOWN IN THE VALLEY OF KENTUCKY. THEY WERE CALLED OUT TO THE STAGE, I EXPECTED A GRAND INTRO, NOT JUST CASUALLY WALKING INTO THEIR PLACES ONSTAGE. I LATER FIND OUT THE LEAD SINGER IS SICK. OK I UNDERSTAND THAT, THE COMBO OF THE MUSIC AN VOX FUCKIN ROCK BUT AS FOR STAGE PERFORMANCE, THEY FAIL! ROB WAS THE ONLY MOVEMENT ONSTAGE, I EVEN HEARD FROM THE CROWD THAT HE LOOKED LIKE AN ASS UP THERE, BUT I BEG TO DIFFER. ROB IS A ROCKSTAR. LOVED THE SOUND OF THE MUSIC AN VOXS, DEVELOP A BETTER STAGE PRESENCE AN YA'LL WILL GET THE CROWD MORE INVOLVED. ALL I CAN OFFER AT THIS TIME IS 1 ROUND OF JAGER 3:1.

MEDUSA DIESEL
IF THERE IS ANY BAND OUT THERE THAT DESERVES TO BE CALLED A POST PANTERA TRIBUTE BAND, THIS IS THE ONE. STRAIGHT UP OUT OF DANVILLE, KENTUCKY, YA'LL I GIVE YA MEDUSA DIESEL! NOT ONLY DID THEY MAKE MY ICON LIST BUT THEY ARE ALSO FEATURED AS THE REDNECK REVIEW GUY'S BAND OF THE MONTH! THIS BAND HAS IT ALL, HUGE FAN BASE, AWESOME MUSIC WITH THE RUSTIC POWER VOX'S FROM SCOTT, IT'S NO WONDER THE CHAIRS ARE EMPTY! HE HAS A VOICE THAT WILL DRAW THE CROWD IN CLOSE. BANDS ALL AROUND SHOULD COME TO A MEDUSA DIESEL SHOW AN WATCH AN LEARN, MY FAVORITE SONG FROM THEM IS "NO SUN" AN HEARIN IT LIVE IS A BIGGER THRILL FOR ME. I GOT 2 WORDS FOR MEDUSA DIESEL "FUCK YEAH!" GRAB YER SHOT GLASSES AN MEET ME AN RICH AT THE BAR! 4 ROUNDS OF JAGER 3:1!

12 GAUGE HOEDOWN
WELL NOT BAD AN NOT GREAT, WHO CAME UP WITH THE BAND NAME AN HOW DRUNK WAS HE? THE NAME WOULD FIT A COUNTRY BAND BETTER. I WAS A BIT CONDAZED WHEN I SEEN THE LEAD VOX'S PLAYIN THE ..... BONGOS? WTF! BONGOS IN METAL? SORRY NO ROOM FOR THAT. NOW HE DID DO SOME WHIPPIN ON THAT SNARE DRUM WHICH WAS OK, BUT THE BONGOS NEVER AGAIN! MUSIC WISE, NOT BAD, YA'LL DIDN'T MOVE ME MUCH AN I MUST SAY I WASN'T IMPRESSED AN I DON'T THINK THE CROWD WAS INTO IT MUCH EITHER, CUZ MOST OF THEM WERE OUTSIDE! GIT RID OF THE BONGOS AN TRY AGAIN! NO SHOTS!

BEFORE I GO I WANNA SAY HEY TO THE KENTUCKY BERSERKER, KYLE (EVEN THO YOU HAD AN OPEN TAB AT THE BAR, I STILL ONLY TOOK ONE BEER!), SHATTERBOX FOR THE INVITE, AN TO ALL THE COOL PEOPLE THERE. ALSO TO RICH AN CINDY FOR LETTIN US CRASH AN EAT SOME CHILI. BTW RICH, DON'T CALL IT CHILI, YOU CAN GET THIS REGISTERED WITH THE AMERICAN MEDICAL ASSOCIATION AS A COLON CLEANSER! AN BEFORE I FORGET, BRANDON AN SHELLY, YOU GUYS ROCK! HORNS UP FUCKERS!

REDNECK REVIEW #5

FEBRUARY 16, 2008
THE THIRSTY TURTLE
AURORA, INDIANA

VISUAL KAOS

I AM NOT ONE WHO DOES REVIEWS ON COVER BANDS! BUT IF THEY ASK I WILL! UMM LET'S SAY VISUAL KAOS AN PRIZONER ARE THE 2 OLDEST COVER BANDS AROUND, AN I MUST SAY VISUAL KAOS IS MY FAVORITE. JERRY IS KILLER ON THE 6-STRINGER, WILL IS THE TOM TOM KING AN CAN STILL KEEP THE BEAT GOIN AFTER STANDIN UP PLAYIN! POE ON THE 5-STRING THUMPER, HE LOOKS A LOT LIKE A HIPPIE VERSION OF GENE WILDER! AN MR. TEDDY B ON THE VOXS, WHAT WILL HE BE UP TO NEXT? IT IS AN HONOR TO BE FRIENDS WITH THIS BAND. THEY DO IT ALL, COVERS AN ORIGINALS! 4 ROUNDS OF JEG 3:1! HORNS UP FUCKERS!

REDNECK REVIEW #4

FEBRUARY 15, 2008
THE SOUTHGATE HOUSE
CINCINNATI, OHIO

CHAKRAS
THIS BAND HAS A DIFFERENT SOUND THAN A LOT OTHER CINCINNATI BANDS. I THINK NOT ONLY DO THEY PUT PASSION INTO THEIR MUSIC, THEY PUT SPIRIT. FROM THE VOXS TO THE GIANT FIDDLE ON THE KICK STAND, THE SOUND IS APPEALING TO YER EARS! QUESTION 1: WHO CAME UP WITH THE NAME CHAKRAS? WHAT DOES IT MEAN? 6-STRINGER DUDE BROKE HIS STRING, NOT GOD, BUT WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT WAS WORSE! THE 4-STRING THUMPIN DUDE THOUGHT HE COULD DO STAND UP COMEDY! BAD MOVE, IF YA WANT TO BE A COMIC DON'T WASTE THE BAND'S TIME! I ALWAYS SAY IF SOME THING GOES WRONG AN CAN BE FIXED, KEEP PLAYIN, KEEP THE CROWD ON THEIR FEET, DON'T DO COMEDY! ALL N ALL I THINK SOMEDAY I WILL HEAR THIS BAND ON A DISNEY SOUNDTRACK, THEY HAVE THE TALENT TO DO IT. ALSO, MAKE BOTH OF THE FIDDLES A BIG PART OF YER SHOW, THAT IMPRESSED ME BIGTIME! I'LL GIVE YA'LL 3 ROUNDS OF JEG 3:1.

KRISTIN KEYS
WOW I WAS BLIND-SIDED ON THAT ONE! AT FIRST I THOUGHT THIS COULD BE GOOD... YOUNG PRETTY GIRL READY TO UNVEIL.. AND WAS SHOCKED! DIDN'T AHSLEY SIMPSON COVER THE ACT? I SWEAR, THIS WAS NOT GOOD AN THEN BEGGIN THE CROWD FOR A SHOT OF VODKA THEN YA'LL CLOSE YER SET, AN THANK GOD FOR THAT! WITH A MADONNA COVER SONG AN PUT A GREAT FINALE ENDING ON SOLOS IN IT BUT THAT SHOULDA BEEN IN ONE OF YER ORIGINAL SONGS, IT WILL MAKE A BETTER IMPRESSION! PLEASE CONTINUE TO DO SHOWS JUST MAKE SURE IT'S TO A CROWD OF HANNAH MONTANA FANS! NO ROUNDS FOR YOU!

LITHIUM
IAN AN THE BOYS THANKS FOR HAVIN ME OUT TO REVIEW YA'LL. IT WILL BE SHORT AN TO THE POINT, I'LL HAVE MORE AT THE END OF THE REVIEW. LOVE THE MUSIC AN THE ENERGY, AS FOR THE VOX'S THEY NEED IMPROVEMENTS. DUDE YA NEED TO DISCOVER A VOCAL RANGE. LEAD 6-STRINGER KEEP THE SHIRT ON! NOT A PRETTY SITE. SO GO AHEAD AN GET YER 3 ROUNDS OF JEG 3:1, ILL BE BACK IN A SEC!

THE SCREAMING KINGS
HOW MANY MORE TIMES CAN I SAY THIS BAND IS AWESOME? WHEN YOU HEAR THEM YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHY THEY ARE AN ICON! ALSO WHO ELSE BESIDES ME THINKS THE SCREAMING KINGS SHOULD BE DOIN THE HALF TIME SHOW AT THE SUPERBOWL? 4 ROUNDS OF JEG 3:1!


OK BEFORE I GO I MUST SAY THIS: LITHIUM YA'LL ARE A YOUNG BAND THAT NEEDS TO TWEAK UP SOME THINGS, AN YA'LL AN STITCH RIVET NEED TO HOOKUP, TOUR TOGETHER, AN CREATE AN AWESOME DUO TOURIN MACHINE. THIS WILL WORK! I WANNA SAY HEY TO JONATHAN WHO IS DOIN THE PCX FEST SHOW IN HAZARD KENTUCKY ON APRIL 5TH, MARK YER CALENDARS FOR THIS ONE, I'M GONNA GO AN PARTY WITH LITHIUM, STITCH RIVET, 11/16, CHIZEL, AN DUSTIN SMITH! HORNS UP FUCKERS!

REDNECK REVIEW #3

FEBRUARY 8, 2008
THE BLUE NOTE
CINCINNATI, OHIO

CORPUS CHRISTI
WHAT CAN I SAY BOUT THIS BAND..... HOW BOUT THEY FUCKIN ROCK, EVEN THE TALL BIG 6-STRINGER DUDE THAT LOOKED LIKE STING FROM WCW SHOULD HAVE WHIPLASH FROM ALL THE HEADBANGIN HE DID! I KNOW I GOT WHIPLASH! AND ONE MORE THANG DID YA'LL KNOW THAT AL BORLIND FROM HOME INPROVEMENT PLAYS THE 2ND 6-STRINGER FOR THIS GROUP? DUDE WORE A PLAID LONG SLEEVED SHIRT AN PLAID SLIP ON SHOES! THIS BEIN THE 2ND TIME I'VE SEEN THIS BAND, I MUST SAY ITS WORTH IT TO SEE THEM. VOXS AN BACK UP VOXS ROCK WITH THIS BAND! I WILL GIVE THEM 2 ROUNDS 0F JEG 3:1.

REAPER
THIS BAND YA GOT 3 YOUNG TALENTED ROCKERS AND AN ALMOST MIDDLE AGED LEAD SINGER WHO STIFF LEGS WHEN HE DANCES! THIS DUDE SHROOM FEEDS OFF THEIR TALENTS. I'M JUST KIDDIN, THIS BAND IS A TOP CONTENDER FOR ALL LOCAL TALENTS IN THE TRI-STATE. YOU CAN TELL AN SEE THE LOVE AN PASSION THEY HAVE FOR MUSIC. SHAWN VON REAPER THE BASS PLAYER YA GOT A NEW NICKNAME.... STORK BOY! DUDE YER ALL LEGS! WOLFGANG FOX IS THE METAL VERSION OF CARROT TOP! THIS BAND HAS A SOLID SOUND AN IS A TOP CHOICE OF ENTERTAINING BANDS TO SEE. 3 ROUNDS OF JEG 3:1. BUT FOR SHAWN, WOLFGANG, AND HARLEY, SORRY FELLAS, IT'S WATER FOR YA'LL TIL YA TURN 21!

DEATH BROKER
THIS IS A SERIOUS DEATH METAL BAND. THEY ARE SOME OF THE BRUTALEST GUYS I'VE SEEN IN A WHILE! LEAD VOX'S DUDE YA SPIT MORE BEER THAN YA DRANK! FUCK THE STAGE WAS DRUNK! WHATS REALLY COOL BOUT THIS BAND IS YOU CAN GET CLOSE TO A RHINO AN NOT GET HURT! I DID SEE ONE FLAW, BASS DUDE BROKE A STRING ON HIS 4 STRINGER. IT KINDA SENT THE CROWD BACK A LIL. HE PLAYED THE "AIR BASS" AN THAT WAS OK, AN LETS SAY IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO HAVE A BACKUP PLAN. ALL IN ALL THIS BAND IS BRUTAL! I'M GONNA SAY THEY ARE COMMIN AT YA LIKE A WRECKING BALL AN THEY WILL KNOCK YA DOWN! GET A COPY OF THEIR DEMO. THIS BAND PLANS TO STICK AROUND A WHILE! 3 ROUNDS OF JEG 3:1!

X-FACTOR1
I MUST BE HONEST WITH YA'LL, I WAS VERY IMPRESSED WITH X-FACTOR1! WHEN YA WATCH THIS BAND SET UP IT ALMOST MAKES YA THINK IS THIS BAND WORTH ALL OF THIS...... ? YES THEY ARE. I'M GONNA SAY IT, THIS IS THE HARDEST WORKIN BAND TO IMPRESS THE CROWD AN THEIR FANS! HANDS DOWN! IF THERE ARE ANY BAD ACTS AT THE SHOW, X-FACTOR1 WILL PICK UP THE SLACK. THE LAST TIME I SEEN THEM IT WAS 4 MEMBERS AN THEY WERE ALL DRUNK! NOW IT'S 5, MAKE YA THINK THEY ARE MULTIPLYIN LIKE RATS! BUT I WANT TO TELL YA'LL BOUT THIS BAND, THE NEWEST MEMBER LOOKS A LOT LIKE STEVE-O HIDIN IN THE CORNER. THE OTHER 6-STRINGER CAME FROM KORN, WILLIE THE 4-STRINGER HE HAS EARNED THE NAME MAN OF 1000 FACES! Q-BALL DUDE AWESOME JOB ON THE VOXS, AN TOM TOM BOY IN THE BACK, SO WHAT IF YA BROKE YER THANG A MAJIGGER. IT DIDN'T SHOW! BEFORE I GIVE ALL THE CREDIT TO THE BAND ON SUCH A GREAT SHOW I MUST TIP MY HAT TO...... JOE PRIESTLEY. HE IS THE ROAD MANAGER AN IS THE ONE WHO MAKES THE SHOW! I HAVE ONLY ONE COMPLAINT, WAY TOO MUCH FOG FROM THE FOGGERS! DOESN'T BLEND WELL WITH THE LIGHT! 4 ROUNDS OF JEG 3:1.

KILLBOT
I CAN SAY THIS.... IT WAS FUNNY WATCHING Q-BALL ACT LIKE A ROBOT FOR KILLBOT. I WON'T LIE TO YA... I'M NOT A BIG FAN OF KILLBOT, THE MUSIC IS GOOD BUT THE VOXS... WELL THE DUDE'S VOXS SOUND LIKE THE SOUND SOMEONE WOULD MAKE WHEN YA STUB YER TOE IN THE DARK! I MEAN IT'S JUST HIM SCREAMIN AN I'M SORRY HIS VOXS SEEM UNIMPORTANT AN WORTHLESS TO THE BAND'S MUSIC. I KNOW I'M MEAN FOR SAYIN THAT, BUT THIS BAND'S MUSIC IS BETTER THAN HIS VOXS. AN AS FROM WHAT I SEEN WITH THE BAND THEY ARE A GREAT BUNCH OF GUYS, BASS DUDE DON'T WORRY BOUT YER SIZE, GET CRAZY UP THERE. YER IN A METAL BAND. YA LOOK LIKE A KID THAT JUST GOT OUT OF BAND CAMP! MOVE A LITTLE UP THERE AN HAVE FUN! AS FOR THE VOXS JUST CLEAN UP THE SOUND A LIL, LIKE I SAID YOU DIDN'T IMPRESS ME AT ALL. SO FOR THE REST OF YA'LL 1 ROUND OF JEG 3:1.

I WANT TO TAKE THIS TIME TO GIVE A SHOUT TO THE REAPER GIRL OLIVIA, HOW DO YOU SLEEP AT A METAL SHOW? I GOT PICS TO PROVE THAT TOO! AN I ALSO WANT TO SAY THANKS TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO WERE THERE TO SUPPORT LOCAL MUSIC! AN BEFORE I GO I WANT TO SAY TO THE SOUND GUY: DUDE YER TERRIBLE AT YER JOB! GET YER EQUIPMENT FIXED. THESE 5 BANDS THAT PLAYED HERE TONIGHT HAD A CRAPPY SOUND GUY TO WORK WITH. IF YER DRINKIN AT THE SHOW, YA NEED TO QUIT AND PAY ATTENTION. YA NEED TO DO A BETTER JOB, I THINK IT WAS A CRIME THAT THE SOUND GUY GOT PAID TO DO A CRAPPY JOB. TRUST ME HE AIN'T WORTH IT! HELL PEOPLE, THIS GUY COULD MESS UP THE SOUND CHECK AT A FUCKIN' MCDONALD'S DRIVE THRU! I REALLY THINK A DEAF GUY, BLIND WITH NO HANDS, COULD HAVE DONE A BETTER JOB. UNTIL NEXT TIME, HORNS UP FUCKERS!!

REDNECK REVIEW #2 2008

JANUARY 27, 2008
DIRTY JACK'S
CINCINNATI, OHIO

YA KNOW I HATE DOIN REVIEWS LIKE THIS, ONCE AGAIN I CAN NOT FIND FAULT OUT OF THESE 4 BANDS. WHEN I GO TO THE SHOW I LOOK FOR FAULTS, THINGS TO MAKE FUN OF. WELL YA WON'T FIND ANY FLAWS HERE!

DARK SOUL

ANYONE WHO KNOWS WHO DANNY MAC IS SHOULD KNOW HE IS ONE OF THE BEST GROWLERS OF CINCY METAL THERE IS. HE MAKES IT LOOK SO EASY BUT FUCK I CAN'T DO IT! DARK SOUL MUSIC IS LIKE NO OTHER, IT HAS IT'S OWN SOUND AND HAS BUILT A REPUTATION AS A DARK DEATH METAL BAND. I KNOW IT WAS A SUNDAY NIGHT AN NO ONE SHOWED UP EXCEPT THE BANDS AN ANY AN I, I WAS HONORED TO SEE AN AWESOME JAM FEST OF DARK SOUL! THEY UNLEASHED A NEW SONG DARK SOUL STYLE BUT I'M NOT GONNA TELL YA BOUT IT, JUSY SAY YA SHOULDA BEEN THERE! 4 ROUNDS JAGER 3:1!

WICKED INTENT
DESPITE BEIN SICK AN RUNNIN ON EMPTY, CHRISTY MAC TOOK THE STAGE WITH A BANG! I'VE SEEN THIS BAND A LOT THRU THE YEARS AN I MUST SAY THIS BAND IS GETTIN TO BE ONE STEP CLOSER TO BEIN THE BAND THEY WANT TO BE. THEY HAVE A NEW SOUND, IT'S A LIL HEAVIER THAN WHEN THEY STARTED. I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE NOW ARE TURNING TO WICKED INTENT AS A HEAVY CONTENDER IN THE CINCY LOCAL METAL SCENE. THE ORIGINALS ARE VERY TIGHT AN CLEAN, A CLEAR VOX, AN I MUST SAY THE NEW MEMBERS OF THE GROUP HAVE RE-CREATED WICKED INTENT. WATCHIN PAUL D AN SEAN ONSTAGE TOGETHER IS A TREAT! AN JENNY DIABLO, OH YEAH SMILIN JENNY, SHE SHOWS HOW SHE IS HAVIN A BLAST PLUCKIN THE BASS. ATTENTION ALL BANDS AND VENUES: I GIVE YOU WICKED INTENT! PLAY WITH THEM AN BOOK THEM, YA WON'T BE SORRY! THEY DID A GREAT COVER ALSO, I DON'T WANT TO GIVE IT AWAY, ONCE YOU SEE THEM LIVE YOU WILL SEE WHY THE MEMBERS OF WICKED INTENT ARE TROOPERS! 4 ROUNDS OF JAGER 3:1!

ASHES OF YOUR ENEMY
FUCKIN AWESOME BAND FROM NEW JERSEY! JUST PASSIN THRU AN STOPPED TO PLAY IN CINCY! THEY CUT A CD CALLED THE UNDYING, BRUTAL FUCKIN CD! THE SONG IDGAF ROCKED THE JOINT, BUT THEN NOT TOO MANY PEOPLE KNOW WHAT I'M TALKIN BOUT ONLY BECAUSE THERE WAS ONLY 10 OF US THERE AN NO ONE ELSE CAME OUT. IT WAS AN AWESOME DISPLAY OF JERSEY MOTHER FUCKIN METAL! HORNS UP FUCKERS, 4 ROUNDS JAGER 3:1!

HELL WITHIN
AW HELL, BRUTAL BRUTAL BRUTAL! I THINK I'M READY TO GET HIGH AFTER THE SHOW AN I DON'T SMOKE DOPE! IF YA WANNA SEE A BAND READY TO OPEN FOR BIGGER ACTS, IT'S THIS GROUP OF 5 YOUNG MEN FROM BOSTON, MASS! THE LEAD VOX'S WILL HAVE YOU ON YER FEET JAMMIN, HE IS THE CHARLIE MANSON OF METAL! HE CAN BRING THE CROWD UP AN HAVE THEM DO WHATEVER HE WANTS THEM TO DO. YA KNOW I'VE BEEN TO A LOT OF SHOWS, VENUES, ETC. AN MOST OF THE TIME I SEE THESE OUT OF TOWN BANDS COME THRU AN WONDER WHY THE FUCK THEY EVEN PLAY OR TOUR. THIS IS NOT THE CASE FOR ASHES OF YOUR ENEMY AN HELL WITHIN. I MADE SOME NEW FRIENDS TONIGHT. FROM NEW JERSEY ASHES OF YOUR ENEMY, KEVIN, TONY, MATTY, JOEY, SHOTTIE AN FROM BOSTON, MASS, MATT, TONY, JSAIAS, JOE, AN BRIAN. WELCOME TO CINCY AN THANKS FOR ROCKIN IT OUT AT DIRTY JACK'S! WE WILL HOOK UP AGAIN! 4 ROUNDS OF JAGER 3:1!

FUCK, TO ALL THE BANDS TONIGHT, HAVE ONE MORE ROUND 3:1! IT'S A LIL SAD TO SEE THE BAR DIDN'T MAKE MUCH ON A SUNDAY NIGHT BUT WE ALL HAD A GREAT TIME AN THE PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT THE SHOWS IN CINCINNATI ARE NOT A FRIDAY AN SATURDAY THING! IT'S 7 DAYS OF AWESOME FUCKIN MUSIC FROM ALL OVER THE US! OK, SO WHAT, THESE BANDS ARE NOT OZZY OR ROB ZOMBIE OR BLACK LABEL SOCIETY. IF THESE ACTS CAME OUT ON A SUNDAY YA'LL WOULD PACK THE PLACE AN NOT CARE THAT YA GOTTA WORK THE NEXT DAY. IT'S THE SAME FOR THESE LOCAL ACTS. SOMETIMES I SEE THEY PUT MORE EFFORT AN MORE HEART INTO THEIR SHOWS THAN SOME OF THE BIGGER ACTS THAT SHOW UP IN CINCY. HORNS UP FUCKERS TO ALL FOUR OF THE BANDS TONIGHT! IT WAS AN HONOR FOR THE FEW OF US FANS THAT WERE THERE, WE GOT A HELL OF A SHOW! THIS GOES TO ALL THE LOCAL TALENT WE HAVE IN CINCY: CINCY HAS THE TALENT JUST A LACK OF FAN SUPPORT. REDNECKREVIEGUY.COM IS A STRONG SUPPORTER OF THE CINCY LOCAL METAL SCENE. SO WHILE YA'LL SAT THERE WATCHING RE-RUNS OF THE SIMPSONS OR COMPLAINING THAT IT'S SUNDAY AN THERE'S NOTHING TO DO, SAYIN YA CAN'T GO OUT BECAUSE YA GOTTA WORK TOMORROW, THERE WERE 4 AWESOME BANDS AN A FEW FANS PARTYIN IT UP AT DIRTY JACK'S! AN TO CHRIS LEE AN THE DIRTY JACK'S CREW, AWESOME FUCKIN' JOB! AN FOR CHRIS LEE, GREAT TO SEE YA OUT AN DOIN WHAT YA DO BEST!

REDNECK REVIEW #1 2008

JANUARY 18, 2008
HARDTAILS
CINCINNATI, OHIO

SESSION 9

ONE THING TO SAY, DOES ANYONE REMEMBER THE MOVIE WEDDING SINGER? DO YA'LL KNOW THE SOUNDTRACK? IF NOT YA'LL SHOULD GIT A COPY CUZ SESSION 9 IS BETTER THAN THAT. I DID A REVIEW OF THIS GROUP BACK AT FREEDOM FEST AN DIDN'T CARE FOR RYAN'S VOICE. HE HAS IMPROVED, I WILL SAY THIS THO I DON'T LIKE SESSION 9 AS A COVER BAND. TO ME IT'S NOT A TIGHT FIT FOR THEM. BUT I'M NOT GONNA SAY I'VE HEARD BETTER COVER BANDS, I HAVE AN I'VE HEARD WORSE! I SEE NOW WHERE RYAN GETS ALL OF HIS FRONT MAN MOVES, HE HAS SEX ALL BY HIMSELF. I COULD SEE HIM SINGIN THAT SONG I TOUCH MYSELF BY DIVINYLS! I BELIEVE HE GETS TURNED ON FROM HIS VOICE. AS FOR THE OTHER GUYS IN THE BAND LOOSEN UP AND MOVE AROUND, GIT CRAZY, YA'LL ARE PLAYIN COVERS, HAVE FUN WITH IT! I'VE SEEN QUITE A FEW INTERESTING PEOPLE LIKE THE GIRLS WHO WISH THEY WERE POLE DANCERS, THE GIRL IN THE HALF JEAN JACKET, I HOPE SHE DIDN'T PAY FULL PRICE FOR IT, AN THEN THE GIRL WITH THE CIRCUMSIZED HAIRCUT! SHE LOOKED LIKE A WALKING PENISHEAD!

AS FOR LOSING YER DRUMMER IT DIDN'T HURT YA MUCH, ALL IT MEANS NOW IS THERE'S ONLY 4 OF YA'LL INSTEAD OF 5. I'M NOT USED TO SEEIN KENT FROM WRECKED PLAYIN DRUMS, IT'S DIFFERENT, SO WE HAVE TO HAND IT TO KENT FOR FILLING IN. RYAN JUST TOLD ME HE IS THE RICH LITTLE OF ROCK N ROLL. RICH HE AIN'T (CUZ HE'S UNEMPLOYED JUST LIKE ME), AN AS FOR LITTLE YA GOTTA ASK HIS WOMAN BOUT THAT, JUST FUNNIN WITH YA BRO! THE 2ND SET MUCH BETTER WITH THE BAND MOVIN AROUND. WOW THEY DID OZZY AND I'LL TELL YA WHAT, AWESOME! BUT KENT DUDE, YA LOOKED LIKE PEEWEE HERMAN AT THE PORN FEST ON THE DRUMS! ALL KIDDIN ASIDE, THIS BAND SEEMS TO HAVE THE WANT AN IT SHOWS. I WILL GIVE THE BAND 2 ROUNDS OF JAGER 3:1. HORNS UP FUCKERS!

REDNECK REVIEW #15

NOVEMBER 24, 2007
THE A1A
LEXINGTON, KENTUCKY

WENT TO LEXINGTON TO SEE 3 BANDS, JUST GOT ONE THING TO SAY, STITCH RIVET YOU SUCK! WE WERE HYPED UP ON SEEIN' A GOOD SHOW, AS FOR THE TWO OTHER BANDS THAT WERE THERE, CHIZEL AND D-SUL, WE GOT THAT. BUT I GOT NOTHING FROM STITCH RIVET. THIS WAS ONE OF THE MOST PITIFUL PERFORMANCES FOR A DVD I'V EVER SEEN! FOR ONE, ALL YER SONGS SOUND THE SAME, THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE FROM THE FIRST SONG TO THE LAST SONG YOU SING, YOU MIGHT HAVE CHANGED A FEW OF THE WORDS. BUT AS FOR THE ORIGINALITY OF THIS GROUP, THEY HAVE NONE! ALL I SEEN IN THE WHOLE PERFORMANCE WAS A REALLY BAD VERSION OF A BAND TRYIN' TO BE LIKE POISON! AS FOR THE DANCING GIRLS ONSTAGE, IT MADE YER DVD EVEN WORSE! I GOT A COPY OF THE STITCH RIVET CD, I'M GIVING IT AWAY FOR FREE! YES, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT... FREE. IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE OTHER TWO BANDS THERE LAST NIGHT, I WOULD HAVE FELT LIKE I WASTED MY 5 BUCKS TO EVEN GET IN. I WOULD NOT COME BACK AND SEE THIS BAND LIVE AGAIN AN I WILL NOT BUY THEIR DVD. I HEARD THAT THIS BAND HAS A HUGE FOLLOWING OF FANS BUT THAT JUST SHOWS ME THAT SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO TASTE IN MUSIC! HELL THESE PEOPLE ALL PROBABLY WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH YOU OR ARE CLOSE FAMILY. I WASN'T MOVED AT ALL BY ANYTHING, OH WAIT A MINUTE, I WAS MOVED, I HAD TO MOVE OUTSIDE AFTER THE FIRST SONG AN THE SIXTH SONG SOUNDED THE SAME JUST TO GIT AWAY FROM THEM. THAT'S THE ONLY MOVEMENT I'VE GOTTEN FROM THIS BAND! SORRY FELLAS YOU GUYS ARE PRETTY COOL DUDES BUT AS FOR THIS GREAT BAND YOU GUYS THINK YOU HAVE IT AIN'T HAPPENIN. TO ME YER KINDA LIKE THE PARIS HILTON OF METAL! FOR CHIZEL AN D-SUL MEET ME AT THE BAR. 2 ROUNDS ON ME! HORNS UP FUCKERS!