REDNECK REVIEW #15

NOVEMBER 24, 2007
THE A1A
LEXINGTON, KENTUCKY

WENT TO LEXINGTON TO SEE 3 BANDS, JUST GOT ONE THING TO SAY, STITCH RIVET YOU SUCK! WE WERE HYPED UP ON SEEIN' A GOOD SHOW, AS FOR THE TWO OTHER BANDS THAT WERE THERE, CHIZEL AND D-SUL, WE GOT THAT. BUT I GOT NOTHING FROM STITCH RIVET. THIS WAS ONE OF THE MOST PITIFUL PERFORMANCES FOR A DVD I'V EVER SEEN! FOR ONE, ALL YER SONGS SOUND THE SAME, THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE FROM THE FIRST SONG TO THE LAST SONG YOU SING, YOU MIGHT HAVE CHANGED A FEW OF THE WORDS. BUT AS FOR THE ORIGINALITY OF THIS GROUP, THEY HAVE NONE! ALL I SEEN IN THE WHOLE PERFORMANCE WAS A REALLY BAD VERSION OF A BAND TRYIN' TO BE LIKE POISON! AS FOR THE DANCING GIRLS ONSTAGE, IT MADE YER DVD EVEN WORSE! I GOT A COPY OF THE STITCH RIVET CD, I'M GIVING IT AWAY FOR FREE! YES, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT... FREE. IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE OTHER TWO BANDS THERE LAST NIGHT, I WOULD HAVE FELT LIKE I WASTED MY 5 BUCKS TO EVEN GET IN. I WOULD NOT COME BACK AND SEE THIS BAND LIVE AGAIN AN I WILL NOT BUY THEIR DVD. I HEARD THAT THIS BAND HAS A HUGE FOLLOWING OF FANS BUT THAT JUST SHOWS ME THAT SOME PEOPLE HAVE NO TASTE IN MUSIC! HELL THESE PEOPLE ALL PROBABLY WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH YOU OR ARE CLOSE FAMILY. I WASN'T MOVED AT ALL BY ANYTHING, OH WAIT A MINUTE, I WAS MOVED, I HAD TO MOVE OUTSIDE AFTER THE FIRST SONG AN THE SIXTH SONG SOUNDED THE SAME JUST TO GIT AWAY FROM THEM. THAT'S THE ONLY MOVEMENT I'VE GOTTEN FROM THIS BAND! SORRY FELLAS YOU GUYS ARE PRETTY COOL DUDES BUT AS FOR THIS GREAT BAND YOU GUYS THINK YOU HAVE IT AIN'T HAPPENIN. TO ME YER KINDA LIKE THE PARIS HILTON OF METAL! FOR CHIZEL AN D-SUL MEET ME AT THE BAR. 2 ROUNDS ON ME! HORNS UP FUCKERS!

REDNECK REVIEW #14

THE A1A, MAIN ST.
LEXINGTON, KY
OCTOBER 13, 2007

MEDUSA DIESEL

GLAD I GOT THE OPPORTUNITY TO FINALLY SEE THIS BAND LIVE, THERE'S A REASON WHY I PICKED THIS BAND TO PLAY ON DECEMBER 8TH FOR THE DIMEBAG TRIBUTE, THEY FUCKIN ROCK! THIS BAND COULD VERY WELL BE THE NEXT BLACK LABEL SOCIETY STYLE BAND, THE VOCALS ARE LIKE HEARING THE ANGELS IN METAL HEAVEN! THESE 4 GUYS PLAY SOME FUCKIN KILLER METAL, FROM START TO FINISH OF THEIR GIG THEY WILL KEEP YOU ON YER TOES, THEY WILL KEEP YOU SHOUTING, AN WHETHER YOU KNOW THE WORDS OR NOT TO THEIR SONG, YOU WILL SING WITH EM. THE TALENT THE BAND HAS EXCEEDS THE LIMITS SET FORTH BY OUR METAL FOREFATHERS! I WOULD SUGGEST TO ANYBODY OUT THERE FIND A WAY TO GIT A COPY OF THEIR CD AN GIT THE FUCK OUT THERE AN SEE THIS BAND LIVE! NOT ONLY WAS I HONORED TO HAVE A SHOT OF JEG WITH SCOTT AN THE DRUMMER BECAUSE IT WAS WELL DESERVED. JUST THEIR PERSONAL TRIBUTE SONG TO DIMEBAG DARRELL, PHENOMENAL! AN THEIR TRIBUTE TO THE MAN IN BLACK JOHNNY CASH FUCKIN ROCKED AS WELL. SO MOTHERFUCKERS GRAB YER SHOT GLASSES AN A ICE COLD BREW, ITS 4 ROUNDS OF JEG 3:1 PAIN LINK STYLE!

CHIZEL

CHIZEL HIT THE STAGE LIKE A FUCKIN ROCK! NOT ONLY DID MEDUSA DIESEL BUT CHIZEL AS WELL BROUGHT IN A CROWD LIKE NO OTHER! THERE WERE PEOPLE STANDIN AN SHOUTIN AN SINGIN THE WORDS TO DAMN NEAR EVERY FUCKIN CHIZEL SONG THAT THEY PLAYED! NOW I KNOW YOU'VE ALL HEARD AN I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL HEARD IT FROM TRANS-FUSION ENTERTAINMENT THAT THESE GUYS ARE TOO OLD, WELL I'M HERE TO TELL YA YEAH THESE GUYS ARE A LITTLE OLD AN THEY'RE A LITTLE YOUNG AN THEY WILL OUTROCK, OUTPLAY, AN DAMN NEAR OUTSELL ANY BAND OUT THERE! CHIZEL HAS LIVED UP TO EVERYTHING THEY HAVE EVER SAID, THEY PLAY IT LIKE THEIR CD SOUNDS, FUCKIN AWESOME! THESE EXTRAORDINARY 5 GUYS CAME TOGETHER AN CREATED ONE HELLUVA METAL MONSTER! AN SOMETIMES I HEAR FROM THEM, THEY SAY THEY SOUND HORRIBLE UP ONSTAGE, BUT IF YOU GO TO A SHOW YOU WILL SEE FOR YOURSELF THIS BAND IS FAR FROM BEING HORRIBLE! I HAVE NOT SEEN A BAD PERFORMANCE FROM THIS BAND AN I'VE SEEN THIS BAND QUITE A FEW TIMES. THEY ARE WELL SUPPORTED BY THE CHIZEL BITCHES (IF YOU CAN KEEP EM OUT OF THE MONKEY FUCKERS)! I WANNA GIVE A SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO JON AN TARA CONGRADS ON YER MARRIAGE! WE WANT THE BEST FOR YOU FOR THE YEARS TO COME! WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE DONATE A WALKER, RICH HAD A PROBLEM STANDIN' UP, HE FELL DOWN WITH THE MIC STAND AN LAID DOWN ON THE GROUND FOR A WHILE, IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME WE HAVE PICTURES TO PROVE IT! THE MIC STAND HEHE THE LITTLE MIDGET SKELETON HEHEHE HOLDIN THE BEER CAN THAT LOOKED LIKE A PENIS HEHEHE FUCKIN COOL! GOOD IDEA! AN WHAT A TREAT DID WE GET WHEN CHIZEL STARTED PLAYIN COWBOYS FROM HELL AN MEDUSA DIESEL JOINED IN, THAT'S WHAT YA CALL AN AWESOME KILLER METAL SHOW! AN ALSO RICH AN THE REST OF THE GUYS FUCK YOU FOR DEDICATIN THAT STUPID ASS PIECE OF SHIT MOTLEY CRUE SONG TO ME, YOU CAN TAKE YER MOTLEY CRUE AN SHOVE IT STRAIGHT UP YER CHIZELED ASSES! NOW WE'RE GONNA GIVE CHIZEL 4 ROUNDS PLUS ONE ROUND OF WILD TURKEY 101 3:1 PAIN LINK STYLE! HORNS UP FUCKERS!

SHATTERBOX

FELLAS I'M REALLY REALLY SORRY HEHEHE IF I DO A REVIEW ON YOU RIGHT NOW IT WILL NOT BE AN HONEST REVIEW. BY WHAT I'VE HEARD SOUNDED GOOD, YOU GUYS WOULD MAKE A GREAT OPENING ACT FOR SAVAGE SOUL HERE IN OHIO. BUT AS FOR THE REVIEW HEHEHE I WAS TOO DAMN DRUNK! THANKS TO RICH OF CHIZEL FOR HELPIN ME OUT WITH THIS AN HIS LITTLE MIDGET FAN WITH THE MESSED UP HAND, DON'T REMEMBER HIS NAME, BUT I HAD A FEW UNDER MY BELT, A FEW TOO MANY! BUT I DO INTEND AFTER MY SHORT LITTLE BREAK TO DO A REVIEW OF THIS BAND. SO WHY NOT, GIT A BEER OR SOMTHIN I'M STILL DRUNK!


OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT UK BEAT LSU THERE WAS OTHER REASONS TO PARTY! WE WERE PARTYIN AS FANS OF METAL MUSIC THAT COME OUT WEEKEND AFTER WEEKEND TO SUPPORT THESE LOCAL BANDS AN THEIR TALENTS! THESE BANDS PLAY HARDER THAN ANY ACTS THAT TRANS-FUSION ENTERTAINMENT THROWS OUT THERE, LET'S SAY LIKE LITHIUM. OF COURSE, TRANS-FUSION HAS LITHIUM BECAUSE TRANS-FUSION DOES NOT LIKE TO HAVE REAL TALENT! PEOPLE THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE MONEY! IT IS ABOUT DOIN WHAT YOU LOVE AN WHAT YOU ARE MEANT TO DO AN TO THESE PERFORMERS WEEKEND AFTER WEEKEND PLAYIN THEIR HEARTS OUT FOR WHAT THEY LOVE AN NOT GETTIN THE RECOGNITION THAT THEY NEED TO BECOME A NATIONAL ACT! I AM JUST BEIN HONEST. YEAH SURE I COULD SAY THAT THE PEOPLE IN LEXINGTON STAND BEHIND THEIR BANDS DOWNERE I'M GONNA TELL YA THERE WASN'T JUST LEXINGTON FANS DOWNERE, WE WERE ALL FANS! SO IT DON'T MATTER WHETHER YOU LIVE IN COLUMBUS OR LIVE IN LA, A FAN IS A FAN! I REALLY HOPE YA'LL ENJOYED THE REVIEWS UP TO THIS POINT, THEY WILL BE BACK I PROMISE, I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO TAKE CARE OF BEFORE THE YEAR IS OUT. ALSO THIS MYSPACE BLOG THANG IS NOT GONNA BE THE SEWER LINE THAT WILL HOLD THE SHIT SPEWIN OUTTA MY MOUTH. THE NEXT REVIEW WILL BE PUT UP AT WWW.REDNECKREVIEWGUY.COM. YA'LL CAN READ IT THERE AN LEAVE ME YER COMMENTS! ONE MORE THING BEFORE I FORGIT THIS IS A SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO SWEETNKIND (SUSAN), WE ALL AS FANS APPRECIATE AN LOVE THE WORK AN DEDICATION YOU HAVE FOR ALL OF THE LOCAL BANDS! I WILL SEE YA'LL SOON! HORNS UP FUCKERS!

REDNECK REVIEW #13

THE MAD HATTER
SEPTEMBER 29, 2007

GRIEVING EXISTENCE

WAS INVITED BY THIS BAND TO DO A REVIEW, NO BIGGIE I WILL COME OUT TO THIS SHOW AN DO A REVIEW JUST ARE THEY READY FOR THE PUNISHMENT? WELL THEY STARTED THE SHOW KINDA WEAK THEY DIDN'T DO TOO MANY SONGS BECAUSE APPARENTLY ANOTHER BAND WAS ADDED TO THE BILL SO THEY ONLY HAD 20 MINUTES TO IMPRESS ME. TO BE TOTALLY HONEST I CAN'T BE BRUTAL TO THIS BAND BECAUSE OF THE FACT I DID NOT GET TO HEAR A FULL SET, THEY WERE IN A HURRY THEY DIDN'T SOUND ALL THAT GREAT AN THEY DESERVE A FAIR REVIEW.


THE SECOND BAND

DON'T KNOW YER NAME OF YER BAND AN IT DON'T REALLY MATTER CUZ YOU SUCK! EVERY SONG YOU PLAYED WITH THAT KID ON THE 6-STRINGER SINGING IN THE MICROPHONE MY EARS WERE SOUNDINGLY RAPED! HIS SINGING COULD WAKE A DEAD MAN AN MAKE HIM WANNA COMMIT SUICIDE! I KNOW YA'LL ARE YOUNG I KNOW YER GONNA READ THIS AN THERE'S LIKE 5 OF YA LIL GUYS RUNNIN AROUND IN THAT GROUP AN YER ALL GONNA PROBABLY WANNA KICK MY ASS FOR SAYIN THIS BUT YOU ALL JUST FLAT OUT SUCK! HELL EVEN THE JUMPIN JACK KIDS THAT SWING THEIR ARMS AROUND AN KICK EVERYTHING AN ALWAYS HUGGIN EACH OTHER DIDN'T EVEN MOVE MUCH EXCEPT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. SO WHAT DOES THAT TELL YA?

NOA

UNLIKE THE SECOND BAND I WILL TAKE MY HAT OFF FOR THIS BAND ONE TIME AN ONE TIME ONLY. I'M NOT A HUGE FAN OF THIS GROUP NOR WILL I PROBABLY EVER WILL BE BUT THEY DO HAVE SOME TALENT.THE ONLY THING I CAN REALLY SAY FOR THIS GROUP IS TO LEARN FROM OTHER GROUPS. THERE IS A SMALL AN I DO MEAN SMALL POTENTIAL FOR THIS BAND. THE ONLY THING THEY DO HAVE GOIN FOR THEM IS THEY ARE YOUNG. AS LONG AS THEIR NOT DUMB AN TAKE SOME GOOD ADVICE THEY WILL BE JUST FINE. NOW LET'S GET TO THE REAL SHOW!

RETRIBUTION

I THINK I'VE SAID IT ALL IN PREVIOUS REVIEWS ABOUT THIS BAND, TONIGHT IS ANOTHER PRIME EXAMPLE WHY THIS BAND IS A REDNECK LOCAL ICON! NOT ONLY DID BIG RYAN LET HIS HAIR GROW OUT TO MAKE HIMSELF LOOK LIKE A REAL METAL HEAD BUT THEY ADDED ANOTHER 6-STRINGER TO THE GROUP AN HOLY FUCK PEOPLE I CAN NOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CD! I'M SURE THERE WERE TIMES IN THIS BAND'S EXISTENCE WHERE THEY THOUGHT IT WAS TIME TO HANG IT UP AN CALL IT QUITS BUT AS YOU CAN SEE THE MAGNITUDE AN THE TALENT THIS BAND PRESENTS TO US TONIGHT PROVES THEM WRONG AN ANYBODY ELSE WRONG. THIS BAND DESERVES MORE THAN ANY SHOTS I CAN GIVE THEM, THEY DESERVE THE RECOGNITION TO BE NATIONAL!

PAIN LINK

IS IT REALLY FAIR TO GIVE THESE GUYS ANOTHER REVIEW SINCE I'VE DONE SO MANY ON EM? YOU CAN'T FIND ANYTHING TO SAY WRONG ABOUT EM. THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY IS HORNS UP FUCKERS! KEEP IT GOIN AN BRANDON DON'T TOUCH MY HAT AGAIN!

BENEATH THE SKY

DUDES SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE SEEN YA AN I NEVER DID A REVIEW ON YA THEN I'M GONNA DO ONE ON YA NOW. VERY VERY VERY IMPRESSED WITH THIS BAND, THEY'VE COME A LONG WAY. THEY'VE WORKED HARD AN THE SOUNDS OF THEIR MUSIC PROVES THEY'VE WORKED HARD! THE ONLY THING I'M STILL TRYIN TO GET USED TO IS THE STYLE OF METAL THIS BAND PRESENTS WITH A KEYBOARD. DON'T MAKE MUCH SENSE. BRINGING KEYBOARDS INTO THIS STYLE OF MUSIC IS KINDA LIKE PUTTIN NEONS UNDER YER TRACTORS BEFORE YA GO OUT AN PLOW THE FIELD! IT'S A LITTLE DIFFERENT BUT IT IS POSSIBLE. SO YA'LL GIT OUT THERE SHOW YER SUPPORT FOR THIS BAND AN GIVE EM 3 ROUNDS JEG PAIN LINK STYLE 3:1!


FIRST THING AN MOST IMPORTANT LET'S GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO CHRIS LEE AN SAY WE ARE HAPPY THAT HE IS RECOVERING WELL AFTER HIS SURGERY AN WE HOPE THAT THE CANCER IS GONE. A SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO THE JUMPIN JACK CARTWHEEL FLIPPIN ARM SWINGIN KIDS FROM HELL, WHEN PAIN LINK OFFERED YOU THEIR SONG MOSH PIT MAFIA TAKE IT FROM THE OLD FOLKS AN LEARN HOW TO MOSH BECAUSE I THOUGHT YA'LL WERE TOO WEAK FOR A REAL BAND! LEARN HOW TO MOSH! ONE MORE REVIEW COMING UP FOR THE YEAR, SO STAY TUNED TO HEAR IT FROM ME THE REDNECK REVIEW GUY COMIN FROM LEXINGTON KENTUCKY TO REPORT TO YOU ONE HELL OF A KENTUCKY SHOW! HORNS UP FUCKERS!

REDNECK REVIEW #12

DIRTY JACK'S
SEPTEMBER 15, 2007

MISERY RISING

STARTED OFF WITH A BANG.... THIS BAND HAS ONE THING TO PROVE.... THEY ARE GONNA BE A BAND TO CONTEND WITH, HARD VOX'S AN SOME SOLID MUSIC MAKES MISERY RISING A FUCKIN KICK ASS METAL BAND, IT SHOWS THEY WORK HARD! SO FUCKERS GRAB YER SHOT GLASSES... 2 ROUNDS PAIN LINK STYLE

DAMAGE 4 A DIME

HOLY FUCK! THIS BAND HAS BEEN AT IT TOGETHER FOR A SHORT WHILE AN WHAT A FUCKIN BAND! THIS BAND HAS A FUTURE IN CINCY METAL, AWESOME VOX'S AN GREAT MUSIC... AN THE NAME ALONE SAYS IT ALL, YOU GO DAMAGE FOR A DIME AN YOU'LL GET YER MONEY'S WORTH! THEY PLAY SOME HARD ASS FUCKIN METAL ORIGINALS AN PANTERA COVERS! THE AWESOME 5 THAT MAKES UP DAMAGE 4 A DIME WILL BE AROUND TO KICK YER ASS FOR A WHILE! 4 ROUNDS JEG 3:1 PAIN LINK STYLE!

X-FACTOR1

Q-BALL YA WANTED IT AN NOW YA GOT IT.... YOU TOLD ME AT FREEDOM FEST WHEN YOU HANDED ME YER CD THAT I WOULD NOT BE DISAPPOINTED. YA'LL X-FACTOR1 HAS DEFINATELY EARNED THE RIGHTS TO BE A PART OF THE JAGERMEISTER TOUR! THE TALENT IN THIS BAND IS WHAT IT TAKES TO GO NATIONAL, SOLID FUCKIN ORIGINAL MUSIC YA GOT ME TO TIP MY HAT FOR THE SONG YA'LL DID FOR 9-11, ONE THING I MUST SAY THIS BAND DOES NOT RAWWWK! THEY FUCKIN ROCK! ANYONE WHO TYPES OR SAYS THE WORD SPELT "RAWWKS" IS NOT ONLY INSECURE OF THEIR SEXUALITY, YER GAY! IT'S STUPIT AND PROBABLY THE MOST DEGRADING THING EVER TO BE SAID IN A ROOM FULL OF METAL HEADS! SO TAKE YER EMO "RAWWWK" TO A FUCKIN' PUNK SHOW! IT JUST DOESN'T BELONG IN METAL AND ANYONE WHO SAYS IT OR SPELLS IT "RAWWWK" DON'T BELONG IN METAL! SO X-FACTOR1 .... LET'S DO A NEW TOAST TO YA'LL A LIL DIFFERENT 4 ROUNDS X-FACTOR STYLE (SO WHAT IF YER STILL HUNGOVER FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE! DRINK UP!)!!

I WANNA GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO JEN THE BARTENDER FOR THE AWESOME JOBS SHE DOES! THANKS TO MIKE OF MISERY RISING FOR INVITING US TO THE AFTER SHOW PARTY... HAD A GREAT TIME! I'M SURE YER MEMORIES OF THIS WILL STAY WITH YOU FOR A WHILE. AND STEVE, THANKS FOR PASSING OUT IN THE CAR. WE GOT SOME AWESOME PICS COMING UP SOON FOR EVERYONE TO SEE! UNTIL NEXT TIME HORNS UP FUCKERS!!

REDNECK REVIEW #11

THE MADISON THEATER
AUGUST 24, 2007

SUBVINYL

BOY WHAT A BAND, THE MUSIC SOFT, EASY LISTENIN'...... PERFECT FOR WARM 98! HEY YA'LL THE ONLY PERSON IN THE GROUP HAVIN' ANY FUN IS THE DRUMMER, FUCK! YA'LL DO SOME DRUGS OR SOMETHIN! VERY BORING YA'LL ARE A ROCK BAND ACT LIKE IT! AN FIGURE THIS ONE OUT AN ACOUSTIC 6-STRING PLUGGED INTO AN AMP AND CANT HEAR IT! NO BEER FOR A BAND WHO DRINK MICHELOB ULTRA! FUCKIN DO SHOTS IT WILL LOOSEN YA UP! AW HELL THE CROWD HERE FOR THIS BAND IS THE WHOLE FUCKIN RETIREMENT COMMUNITY! I HAVE PICS TO PROVE THIS! K MAYBE THEY ALL MIGHT BE FAMILY MEMBERS BUT HOLY HELL THE OPPORTUNITY TO PLAY A STAGE WITH THIS MAGNITUDE AN YA BRING YER FAMILY! WHAT A WASTE! THE GIRL SINGER IVE SEEN MORE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS OUT OF HER THAN IVE SEEN IN A JAPANESE EDITED MOVIE! YOU COULD PUT JAPANESE SUB-TITLED WORDS TO HER SINGIN AND WALA ITS A JAPANESE MOVIE!

GRAVITY PLOW

THE SECOND BAND DONT KNOW THE NAME BUT HOW DOES FREAK FUCK SHOW SOUND? THE ONE 6-STRINGER DUDE WORE A PANTERA SHIRT.... EVEN PHIL WOULD KICK HIS ASS FOR THE WAY HE WORE HIS HAIR! WHAT A FUCKED UP GIG! MOMBO ANYONE, THE LEAD SINGER HOLLERED OUT THIS IS A ROCK SHOW, AN THE BAND NEVER PLAYED ANYTHING REMOTELY ROCK! THESE GUYS HAVE A LOT OF GARAGE PLAYS! THIS GROUP HAS ONE ISSUE.... THEY SUCK! I FEEL LIKE I'M AT A EARTH WIND AN FIRE SHOW! AN YES THE 2ND 6-STRINGER DUDE DOES LOOK A LOT LIKE BUD BUNDY! NOT ONLY DOES HE LOOK LIKE BUD BUNDY, BUT I BET HE HAS THE SAME SEX LIFE AS BUD BUNDY, NONE! AN IF HE DONT STOP DANCIN I'M GONNA PUKE! I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND THIS BAND TO A CONCERT FOR THE DEAF! THEY WOULD EVEN FIND IT VERY UNAMUSING AND VERY VERY VERY BORING!

THE SCREAMING KINGS

WHAT A FUCKIN PERFORMANCE! THESE DUDES CAN ROCK, I WAS TOLD THERE WAS GONNA BE A ROCK SHOW HERE.... THE FIRST 2 BANDS WERE NOT AND DID NOT ROCK BUT LET TEDDY B AND THE KINGS HIT THE STAGE AND BANG A FUCKIN ROCK SHOW TO FEAST YER EARS ON! IVE SEEN THIS BAND BEFORE AN EVERYTIME I SEE THEM IT GETS BETTER, THE BAND THEMSELVES HAVE FUCKIN BECOME THE ONE AN ONLY SOUND OF THE SCREAMING KINGS, TEDDY B AND THE KINGS, WELCOME TO THE LIST OF THE REDNECK ICONS! FOR ALL THE ONES WHO KNEW ABOUT THE SHOW AND DIDN'T SHOW UP, SHAME ON YOU! TEDDY WILL GET YOU! SHOT GLASS UP FUCKERS! 4 ROUNDS 3:1 PAIN LINK STYLE!

BASTION

AFTER HEARING THE FIRST 2 BANDS AN THEN YA'LL HAVE TO FOLLOW THE SCREAMING KINGS? NOT A GOOD MOVE FOR YA'LL BECAUSE HEARING YOUR FIRST SONG TRAUMATIZED ME SO BAD THAT MY EARS WERE VIOLATED. YOU SOUNDED NO BETTER THAN THE FIRST 2 BANDS. HOW DARE YOU! THE NEXT TIME YOU FEEL LIKE YER GONNA BE IN A SHOW ALWAYS FOLLOW A GROUP THAT SUCKS WORSE THAN YOU!


ONCE AGAIN ANOTHER WELL THOUGHT OF REVIEW. TO ALL THE BANDS WHO PARTICIPATED AN I TOLD YOU THAT YOU SUCKED TAKE MY ADVICE AND GET BETTER! I WANNA MAKE A SHOUT OUT TO THE BROWN EYED SUGAR MONKEY (MELISSA) CANT WAIT TO WORK WITH YA SOON! A DEFINATE HOWDY TO THE PAIN LINK BOYS AND DAVEY MAC AND SEAN BOYLE! FUCKIN ROCKED TO SEE YA'LL THERE LAST NIGHT, CANT WAIT TO SEE YA'LL AGAIN. UNTIL NEXT TIME HORNS UP FUCKERS!

REDNECK REVIEW #10

DIRTY JACK'S

7/28/07

BILLY CARRI CD RELEASE PARTY

THE UPSET VICTORY

NOT A BAD BAND, FIVE YOUNG GUYS PLAYIN IT HARD..... NUTTIN TO SWEAT OVER, THE MUSIC ROCKED, I JUST DIDN'T CARE FOR THE VOX'S. IT SOUNDED A LIL BLAND, I DON'T SEE THIS BAND IN THE FUTURE AT ALL BUT YEAH I'D GIT EM A ROUND OF BEER ONE TIME ONLY.

AFTER ELVIS

SEE I TOLD YA'LL METAL EXISTED IN TENNESSEE. WOW WHAT A MIXED UP BAND, DAMN THE G-STRING DUDE TO MY RIGHT.... WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF HAIR STYLE YA GOT GOIN ON? IS IT THE "HEY MY PARENTS HATE ME DO", OR THE "I WANT TO LOOK LIKE A PENIS"? YOU MAKE THE CALL..... WELP SO FAR THE MUSIC IS OK, THE VOX'S KINDA LIKE THE FIRST BAND, NUTTIN TO REALLY REMEMBER THEM BY. THE ENERGY OF THE BAND ROCKS AN THE LIL ELVIS DUDE TO MY FAR LEFT ARE YOU EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO BE IN HERE? DID YOU LEARN THE PIG SQUEAL THING FROM THE TIME YOU GOT IT IN THE BUTT? BELIEVE ME YA'LL THERE IS BETTER METAL IN TENNESSEE THAN THIS.

FORMER

FORMER.... THAT IS THE QUESTION. WHAT IS THE FORMER PART ABOUT? THAT THEY WERE FORMERLY GOOD? I WAS NOT IMPRESSED AT ALL, LAME MUSIC, MAYBE IF A NEW SHOW LIKE FRIENDS STARTS UP THEY CAN DO THE THEME SONG. POP ROCK GROUPS FROM MY HOME STATE OF TENNESSEE SUCKS, YA'LL SHOULD TRY COUNTRY MUSIC. THE WHINE WILL GO WELL IN YER PERFORMANCES. THAT'S ALL I GOT TO SAY ABOUT THESE THREE PATHETIC BANDS.

BILLY CARRI

SHOULD I SAY ANYTHING NICE NOW? WELL DUDE YA STILL GOT A GREAT CINCINNATI SOUND, YA SHED A NEW LIGHT AND OPEN MANY DOORS FOR THE RICK SPRINGFIELD TYPE BANDS OF YER ERA. YER DRUMMER HAS A LOT OF TALENT AN A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR, ALL THE SONGS YA DID AN ALL THE SONG ON YER CD ROCK! BILLY CARRI IS AN WILL ALWAYS BE A HOUSEHOLD NAME AN A LEGEND IN CINCINNATI. AN EXTRA NOTE BILLY ITS GOOD TO SEE YER 1 FAN THE AMAZON WOMAN AT YER SHOWS (GOD IF SHE EVER READS THIS I HOPE SHE DOES NOT KICK MY ASS)! YA'LL GRAB SOME SHOT GLASSES 2 ROUNDS 3:1 PAIN LINK STYLE.

FIR YER INFIRMATION - REDNECKREVIEWGUY.COM IS COMING SOON TO A PUTER NEAR YOU AND BE SURE TO CHECK OUT ON MYSPACE REDNEK PRODUCTIONS. UNTIL NEXT TIME HORNS UP FUCKERS!

REDNECK REVIEW #9

TOP CATS

7-13-07

WRECKED

I DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY BOUT THIS BAND BUT OUT-FUCKIN-RAGEOUS! PEOPLE SAY IF YA TALK TOO MUCH BOUT A BAND YA CAN JINX EM! BUT THIS BAND NEVER! WAY TOO PROFESSIONAL! WELP THEY SOUND CHECKED WITH A LIL BLACK LABEL SOCIETY, THEN OPENED UP WITH FORCE. NOW THIS IS GONNA BE AN ALL ROUND SHOW, WHY YA ASK? WELP ONLY 2 BANDS HERE! WRECKED & BENEATH OBLIVION. SO WE WILL MAKE ONE SHORT REVIEW. JAKE EARNED HIS REDNECK REVIEW GUY TSHIRT, HE BLEW THE PA. AWESOME. KENT BRO, YER VOX'S FUCKIN ROCK, I'LL BET YA SANG FOR YER GLEE CLUB IN SCHOOL! I CANT STRESS ENOUGH BOUT THIS BANDS FUCKIN TALENT, THE COVERS SOUND LIKE THE REAL THING! KENT DIDNT WANT THE SHOW REVIEWED, THEN THEY HIT THE MAN IN BLACK JOHNNY CASH FOR A TOTAL OF 13 PEOPLE, PERFECT FOR FRIDAY THE 13TH! HOW CAN I NOT REVIEW THIS SHOW, SOMEONE HAS TO TELL THE STORY! DOOGLE BROKE A STRONG ON HIS 6-STRINGER, 3:31 SEC TO CHANGE THE STRING, IT'S NOT NASCAR.................... IT'S FUCKIN' METAL!! YA'LL NEED TO CHECK OUT THIS BAND FROM INDY CALLED WRECKED! YA'LL WILL SEE WHY THEY ARE NO. 3 ON THE REDNECK ICONS LIST! HORNS UP FUCKERS!

BENEATH OBLIVION

TOO LOUD! LEAD SINGER SOUNDS LIKE A RABBIT IN DISTRESS. HOW MANY SONGS DO YOU DO THAT SOUND UMMMM ALIKE? WHAT DO YA CALL THIS STYLE? BASS DUDE YER MOLESTING YER BASS, LET ME GUESS YA BEEN SINGLE A LONG TIME? SOME REALLY WHACKED OUT CHICK JUMPED THE STAGE, WAS BUTT HUMPIN THE BAND MEMBERS. I BET SHE HAD A BIGGER DICK THAN MOST OF THE BAND MEMBERS ONSTAGE. WHEN SHE WAS AT THE BAR SHE YELLED TO A BAND MEMBER THAT SHE HATED HIM BUT SHE LOVED HIS FUCKIN' ASSHOLE. THATS JUST NOT METAL. THIS BAND COULD REALLY KILL METAL. COULD WE CALL IT MIDEVIL METAL? MAYBE IF WE WERE IN A CASTLE PLAYIN FOR MAYBE A HALF DEAD KING THIS WOULD PROBABLY BE SUITABLE BACK IN 1491. BUT IN TODAYS METAL SOCIETY YER MUSIC MUST NOT SOUND ALIKE FOR 6 SONGS STRAIGHT. THIS WAS THE MOST HORRIBLE EAR PIERCIN CONGLOMMORATED JUNK I'VE EVER HEARD! SORRY CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS! NO STYLE, JUST FLAT OUT SUCKED BALLS, PLEASE PLEASE I STRESS FOR THE MOST PART TAKE YER INSTRUMENTS, SELL EM, GO BACK TO MCD'S AND GET A JOB. THIS IS NOT FOR YOU AT ALL. NEVER. I THOUGHT BLUDSHOT GAVE ME A HEADACHE, YA'LL MAKE A DEAD MAN COMMITT SUICIDE! DO NOT PASS GO PLEASE DONT EVER TRY TO GET PAID FOR THIS CUZ YOU WONT. THIS IS THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF WHY DRUGS MESS UP YER BRAIN!

REDNECK REVIEW #8

REDNECK REVIEW # 8

FREEDOM FEST AT ANNIE'S 7/7/07

ZODIAC ZOO

NOT BAD FOR A THREE MAN GIG, GOOD VOC. MUSIC SOUNDED GOOD DRUMS WERE A LIL TO LOUD, BASS DUDE LOOKED LIKE A HOMOFOBE, BASS DUDE HAS THE LOOK LIKE GO AHEAD TOUCH ME FUCKER. THE SOUNDS WERE KINDA LIKE A BLUES METAL, CAN'T REALLY BUST THEIR BALLS, LETS JUST SAY THIS IS WHY THEY OPEN SHOW! THE NAME DON'T SUIT THEM AT ALL, MAYBE A NAME LIKE DESPRETELY SEEKIN FAME, OR HELL YA'LL WE DO THIS FOR FUN! NOT BAD BUT NO SHOTS I'LL JUST TIP MY HAT FOR THEIR EFFORTS.

BUTCHER CAPONE

2 LEAD SINGERS HUH, WELP YA'LL KNOW WHAT I SAY BOUT THAT. WELP FORGIT WHAT I SAID, THESE 2 MADE THE SHOW GOOD, AND ALL THIS IS UNUSUAL 2 BANDS SO FAR AND ALL I CAN SAY IS GOOD THINGS I'M REALLY STARTEN TO GIT PISSARD OFT BUT ALL N ALL, THIS BAND DIDN'T FUCK UP SORRY YA'LL BUT THE NIGHT IS STILL YOUNG! SOMEONE WILL GIT PUNISHED.

CHIZEL

WHO SAYS OLD GUYS CAN'T DO METAL? CHIZEL HAD CHIZELED THE ROCK AND WENT TO METAL, THE DUELIN 6-STRINGERS FUCKIN AWESOME, VOC'S KICKED ASS DUDE MAKES A GOOD FRONT MAN, FIRST SONG KICKED ASS THIS BAND PLAYED TOO EARLY THEY SHOULD HEADLINE, SMALL CROWD BUT THEY DESERVE MORE FANS ON THE FLOOR I GOT ONE WORD.... FLAWLESS! FOR ALL THE LOCAL BANDS OUT THERE LOOKIN ON HOW TO GET STARTED, COME AN SEE CHIZEL. 4TH SONE ON THE NEW ALBUM JUST MAKES YA WANNA GO OUT AND KICK SOMEONES ASS! BRUTAL FUCKIN BAND. DUDE THE LEAD SINGER IS REDNECK AND SO IS HIS WOMAN IS REDNECK TOO. CHIZEL ARE THE POSTER CHILD OF LOCAL METAL. SO FUCKERS GRAB YER SHOT GLASSES 4 ROUNDS JEG 3:1 PAIN LINK STYLE! BTW LOVE THE T-SHIRTS!

WRECKED

GOSH DARNIT YA'LL DID IT AGAIN! YA'LL PLAYED A KICK ASS SHOW I CAN'T STRESS ENOUGH YER ALL FUCKIN TALENT EXCEDES ALL YER LIMITS! YA'LL BRING THE CROWD IN. YA'LL MADE IT YER NOW A CINCY LOCAL ICON ALONG WITH PAIN LINK, RETRIBUTION, ANW. JAKE DUDE YA CAN PLAY THE DRUMS THIS IS YER HOME BRO STAY WITH THE BAND, THIS IS WHAT MAKE FREEDOM FEST, AWESOME FUCKIN BANDS. TIM BRO, I WANNA SEE YA IN A CAVEMAN DO, YA'LL HEAR IT HERE FIRST THIS YOUNG BAND HAS A HUGE FUTURE IN METAL! AN I WANNA SAY HEY TO WRECKED NO. 1 FAN CRAZY LEGS DUDE YA FUCKEN ROCK! YA'LL JOIN CHIZEL FOR YER FUCKIN SHOTS, 4 ROUNDS 3:1 PAIN LINK STYLE! HORNS UP FUCKERS!

BREAKING NEWS FLASH: BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER I MUST SAY, THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST SHOWS I'VE SEEN IN A WHILE, I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING BAD TO SAY BOUT ANY BANDS SO FAR! I'M GETTIN PISSARD OFT! WHATS PISSARD OFT? I'LL TELL YA PISSARD OFT IS WHEN YER THE ROOSTER AND YA JUST GOT FUCKED IN THE ASS BY A HOG! FOR ALL YA FUCKERS WHO KNEW BOUT THE SHOW AND CHOOSED NOT TO COME, BY FAR A AWESOME FREEDOM FEST! ALL THE BANDS KICKED ALL OUR ASSES.

SESSION 9

NOT A BAD BAND, BUT TO FOLLOW CHIZEL AN WRECKED, UMM... NOT GOOD FOR YA, THE ONLY PUNISHMENT I CAN SAY IS VOCS DIDN'T MOVE ME, I DISAGREE WITH THE REVIEW FROM THE ROZCINE MAG, FROM 1 TO 10 THE BAND GOT AN 8 VOCALS BOUT A 5, I WON'T REMEMBER THE VOC'S I MIGHT REMEMBER THE BAND, BUT ALL N ALL NOT BAD, THIS BAND WOULD BE A GOOD OPENER FOR 8 COUNT! SO GIT 1 ROUND OF BEER!

ROOTBOUND

THEY HAVE GOTTIN BETTER SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE SEEN THEM, MUSIC ROCKS, VOC'S ROCKS, YER VERSION OF THE WALL, DUDE, THAT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE PLAYED METAL, I DON'T WANT TO CALL THIS BAND METAL, IT'S MORE HARDCORE ROCK, THEY PUT AMERICAN HARDCORE TO SHAME! 6 STRINGER DUDE YA KICK ASS, I REALLY LIKE HOW THE BAND MOVES THEIR ALL OVER THE STAGE. BUT IF YA SEE EM LIVE YA'LL WON'T FORGET THE NAME ROOTBOUND, TELL YA'LL SOMETHING 2 ROUNDS JET 3:1 PAIN LINK STYLE!

DAMAGE 4 A DIME

HOLY FUCK NOW THIS IS METAL, PAUL SAID HE WASN'T A FAN OF DEATH METAL, FUCKIN ROCKIN VOCALS MUSIC ROCKED THIS BAND IS A STRAIGHT UP THE ASS FUCKIN METAL BAND, DUDE'S I BETTER GET A COPY OF THIS CD WHEN IT COMES OUT AND YER GIRL SELLIN YER MERCH, THEY ROCK TOO, ASKED THEM WHEY THEY THOUGHT OF THE BAND AND THEY SAID WE DON'T KNOW WE DON'T LISTEN TO THIS! BUT ANYWHO YA GET A SHOT OF JEG 3:1 PAIN LINK STYLE HORN'S UP FUCKERS!

XFACTOR1

THEY DIDN'T PLAY, BUT SOME OF THE BAND SHOWED UP, I'M GONNA REVIEW THEIR CD AND DVD, SO I'LL BE BACK IN A FUCKIN FEW MIN'S..................................................... NOW WE HEAR THE JEOPARDY THEME.............................................................................. HOLD ON YA'LL GOTTA GO POOP..............................................AFTER HEARIN THE CD I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT XFACTOR1 IS A CONTENDER IN THE METAL WORLD. YA'LL SHOULD HEAR THEIR NEW CD FUCKIN ROCKS AND IT COMES WITH AN ADDED PRIZE A DVD OF A PRETTY GOOD SHOW AND OF THEM ACTING LIKE THE JACKASS CREW, BUT BEFORE YOU CAN GIT AN OFFICIAL REDNECK REVIEW I STILL GOTTA SEE YA LIVE SO PICK A SPOT SOMEWHERE NEAR OHIO OR CINCINNATI AREA SO I CAN SEE A FUCKIN LIVE SHOW.

WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL THE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO READ THE REVIEWS AND LIKE THE REVIEWS AND HATE THE FUCKIN REVIEWS JUST REMEMBER IT'S AN OPINION NOTHING PERSONAL AND COMING UP VERY SOON THE 5 REDNECK QUESTIONS OF PAUL RILEY. SO UNTIL NEXT TIME HORNS UP FUCKERS.

REDNECK REVIEW #7

TOPCATS
SATURDAY, JUNE 30, 2007

WRECKED

THIS IS THE SECOND TIME SEEIN THIS BAND PLAY, THEY HIT THE STAGE FIRST AN WOW WHAT A SOUND CHECK,I WAS TELL JAMES YA OTTA HEAR THIS BAND PLAY JUDIST PRIEST, AN THEY OPEN IT WITH A SOUND CHECK,THEN THEY HIT THE STAGE WITH A BANG LIKE THEY ALWAYS DO,KENT DUDE AWESOME FUCKIN VOC'S AT FIRST I THOUGHT WHO HAD TO FOLLOW THIS BAND WAS GONNA BE IN SOME SORRY SHAPE,THEY PLAYED ALL THEIR OWN SHIT AN IT FUCKIN ROCKEDTHIS BAND IN MY OPINION, PLEASE READ THAT WORD CAREFULLY OPINION,THIS BAND IN MY OPINION WILL MAKE THE TOP OF THE METAL FUCKIN FOOD CHAIN ONE DAY!THEIR TALENTS EXCEDES ALL THEIR LIMITS,I WANT TO SEE MORE OF THIS BAND,ALL THE ORIGINALS AN THE FUCKIN COVERS,GRAB YER FUCK SHOT GLASSES FUCKERS 4 SHOTS 3:1 PAIN LINK STYLE! SO IF YA'LL GET THE CHANCE CHECK OUT WRECKED FROM INDY !

FOREVER SCARRED

HEY YA'LL MEMBER ME SAYIN THAT WHO WOULD WANT TO FOLLOW AFTER WRECKED PLAYED,THAT I'D FEEL SORRY FOR THEM?.................... WELP KICK ME IN THE ASS,THIS BAND FUCKIN ROCKED,THIS IS THEIR 3RD SHOW AN WOW,THE VOCALS WERE FUCKIN AWESOME THE MUSIC JUST FUCKIN KICKED YA IN THE FUCKIN TEETH,HEY YA'LL GIT THIS THE DRUMMER....... HE'S BLIND! NO I DIDNT STUDDER, HE BLIND AS A BAT! AN LET ME TELL YA HE DONT NEED NO SEEIN EYE DRUMMIN DOG EITHER,HE DIDNT MISS A BEAT! BLIND DRUMMER DUDE, YOU ROCK!,LEAD VOCALS GOT GREAT SOUND DUDE,AS FOR THE REST OF THE BAND, BIG GUY ON THE 6-STRINGER, MOVE A LIL,HAVE SOME FUN, I PROMISE GIRLS WILL SHOW YA THEIR TITS(AS FOR THE BLIND DRUMMER ALL GIRLS MUST LET HIM FEEL THE TITS HEY HE SEES WITH HIS HANDS) NOW THE LIL 13 YR OLD LOOKIN DUDE WHO WAS REALLY 22, DUDE LIVE A LIL MORE YA STARTED AT THE END TO MOVE DO IT A THE BEGININ OF THE SHOW! YA'LL CAN GRAB A GLASS,3 ROUND OF PBR FOR THIS BAND, AN ILL TELL YA'LL THIS BAND IS WORTH SEEIN,

NOW FOR THE LAST BAND............. SORRY YA DIDNT MAKE ME SAY WOW! I WAS MORE MOVED BY THE BEER I DRANK THAT NITE,THE VOCALS SOUNDED LIKE A HOUND DOG GIVIN BIRTH,PLUS THE STYLE OF MUSIC YA PLAYED WELL DIDNT METALLICA DO THAT ALREADY? YA SEE I CANT EVEN REMEMBER YER BAND NAME....................SORRY NO SHOTS,NO BEER,HELL NOT EVEN A GLASS OF WATER!

WELL THATS ALL FOR THE REDNECK REVIEW #7 I'D LIKE TO SAY HEY TO THE ALMOST FAMOUS KENNY OZZ, AN WOULD LIKE TO WELCOME JAMES TO THE REVIEW HE IS THE OFFICIAL REDNECK BEER DRINKER GUY,EVEN THOU HE CANT CHUG A BEER! BUT ANY WHO YA'LL NEED TO CHECK OUT PAIN LINKS NEW CD IT FUCKIN ROCKS TOO,SO UNTIL NEXT TIME FUCKERS!

REDNECK REVIEW #6

2 FUCKIN AWESOME SHOWS 2 NIGHTS!
THIS REVIEW IS OF 2 NIGHTS 2 SHOWS SO LETS GET STARTED

UP-N -YA

THIS IS THE FIRST BAND TO START IT OFF,NOT BAD THEY PLAYED HARD, GOOD SOUND,THEY EVEN HIT A LIL OLD SCHOOL METALLIC, AND DID IT AWESOME,BUT THEY STILL NEED SOME WORK ,I DONT MEAN THAT IN A BAD WAY,BUT THE BAND HAS POTENTIAL,I LOOK FORWARDS TO HEAR MORE OF THIS BAND IN THE FUTURE!GOOD BUT NO SHOTS JUST OF YET!

RADIO ACTIVE

THIS IS THE 2ND TIME I'VE SEEN THIS BAND,THE 1ST TIME I LET IT SLIDE,BUT THE 2ND TIME, WHOA!!!!!!!! BACK THE HORSE AN BUGGY UP!LETS JUST GIT STRAIT TO THE PUNISHMENT.......
1. YER NOT THAT GOOD FOR A CROWD YA HAD
2. THE MAKE UP THANG GOTTA GO,YER NOT KISS OR ISCP
3. BASS DUDE DO NOT TRY TO LOOK LIKE NIKKI STIXX IT AINT HAPPIN.
HERES WHAT YA NEED TO DO...... GET A NEW LOOK, GIVE UP THE CROW THANG RITE MEOW!
4. DRUMMER DUDE, GIVE UP THE VINNIE PAUL LOOK THERES ONLY ONE VINNIE PAUL!
LETS START BY GOIN BACK TO THE BASIC, AND LETS HEAR A NEW BAND FROM PITT PA!

8KOUNT!

WOW WHAT A FUCKIN SHOW,THESE GUYS ARE BAD! THEY HIT THE STAGE WITH A FUCKIN BANG(BTW FOR YOU GUYS IN 8KOUNT, DO NOT AN I REPEAT DO NOT PISS TODD OFF ,IF YA DO I'LL PUT YA'LL DOWN FOR THE 10KOUNT!) LOL ,IT WAS AWESOME TO SEE TODD PLAYIN AGAIN HES AN AWESOME FUCKIN DRUMMERHE HAS SHEDDED A NEW LITE FOR THIS BAND,PLUS THE 6 STRINGERS DUDES YA FUCKIN ROCK THE ONE DUDE LOVES TO LICK HIS 6-STRINGER,ARE YOU ON EXCTASY OR WHAT, TAKE IT BACK TO YER HOTEL DUDE! LEAD VOCALS MAN YER THERE GREAT SOUNDS MAN, LOVE THE TIE THANG!ALL N ALL GOOD SHOW CHECK EM OUT,
3 ROUNDS OF JEG 3:1 PAIN LINK STYLE

ROCK17

LETS CHANGE THE NAME SHALL WE...... HOW BOUT "NERD PATROL" "GEEK SQUAD" MAYBE,THE ONLY SONG THAT DIDNT SOUND BAD WAS WHITE WEDDIN, ALL THE REST SUCKED! EVEN IN THE BATHROOM YA SUCKED, I THINK THE PEOPLE IN CAMBRIDE LIE TO U OR THEY JUST DONT HAVE ANY OTHER FORM OF SOUNDS IN THAT TOWN, BUT I WAS IN HORID SHOCK!
HELL CLUCKIN CHICKENS SOUNDED BETTER AT THE TIME, AN WHILE IM STILL PUNISHIN YA, IS THERE NOT A HEIGHT REQUIREMENT FOR THE GROUP, I DIDNT KNOW A MIKE STAND COULD GO THAT HIGH!K ENOUGH BOUT THAT!

A-N-W

IT SEEMS LIKE I'VE HEARD THIS BAND BEFORE.... YEAH IM SURE I HAVE, HEY GUYS ....... UP AGAINST THE FUCKIN WALL. LOL EVERY BODY LETS GIVE THE SHARP COUNTY SHERRIFF DEPT A PIECE OF OHIO........ FUCK YOU!
BACK TO THE SHOW,,, I WARNED PAUL IF THEY DID NOT SING BANG I WAS GONNA STOP THE SHOW, THEY SANG IT SWEET!HEY SHANE THOUGHT YA WERE SICK OF DOIN POISON SONGS, WELP YA DID IT ANYWAYS, I'VE ALWAYS LOVED HEARIN THIS BAND THEY BRING OUT THE CROWD AN MAKE A AWESOME SHOW! CANT WAIT FOR THE NEW CD AN MY NEW FUCKIN SHIRT! WHERES MY FUCKIN SHIRT! LOL AWESOME SHOW ONCE AGAIN KEEP IT UP AN GIT YER FUCKIN SHOT GLASSES!4 ROUNDS AN LETS JUST GIT FUCKED UP!

JANI LANE

WOW HE'S SOBER! WHAT A GREAT JOB HE DID, HIS LOOKS ON THE OTHER HAND,THATS A HORSE OF ANOTHER COLOR,BUT THE BAND HE HAS FUCKIN ROCKED, THIS 17YR OLD 6-STRINGER OMFGOSH ,WHERE DID HE COME FROM, THIS KID HAS TOOO MUCH FUCKIN TALENT, I SEE HIS FUTURE GOIN VERY WELL FOR HIM, AN BASS GUY SORRY FOR CALLIN YA GAY, YOU FUCKIN ROCKED TOO,JANI VOICE WAS ON THE BAND WAS ON AN TO THE GUY JASON WHO WOULD NOT LEAVE ME ALONE..... YOU WERE RIGHT THE SHOW FUCKIN ROCKED(REMIND ME LATER WHEN I GIT HOME IM GONNA RACK YER MAMA IN THE MOUFF, CUZ THERES NO WAY YOU CAME FROM MY LOINS!) LOL
WANNA SAY HEY TO ALL THE PEOPLE I AINT SEEN IN A WHILE LIKE TODD OF 8KOUNT YOU ROCK DUDE, AN BILLY CARI,I HEARD A RUMOR BOUT YOU BRO.... I HEAR YER SECRETLY ENGAGED TO A 7' AMAZON WOMAN! WAY TO GO BILLY LOL ,YA'LL BILLY WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY AS THE ONLY MAN WHO CAN STAND UP AN GIVE THIS WOMAN ORAL!

NOW ON TO DAY 2..........................

TOPCATS

OUR LAST OFFER

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!LETS BREAK IT DOWN SHALL WE..... 2 SINGER-AN 3 PEOPLE PLAYIN MUSIC, NOT GOOD AT ALL IS THE REASON FOR THE 2 SINGERS CUZ IF ONE GITS A SORE THROAT THE OTHER CAN FILL IN?THEY DREW A VERY SMALL CROWD,(NO MOSH PIT) THIS BAND DIDNT MOVE ME, THEY'D EVEN SUCK AT AN AFTER SCHOOL EVENT,THE MUCIS DIDNT CHANGE AT ALL IT ALL SOUNDED ALIKEHELL GOIN OUT SIDE DIDNT EVEN MUFFLE IT DOWN,WHEW! GIT RID OF ONE SINGER ADD ANOTHER 6 STRINGER, AN MIX UP THE SOUND MORE,LISTEN TO OTHER BANDS GIT IDEAS PLEASE,BEFORE YA EVER PLAY FOR A CROWD AGAIN LEARN THESE THEE WORDS.....
1. WATCH
2. LISTEN
3. LEARN!
YER NAME SAYS IT ALL OUR LAST OFFER,TRUST ME YA MIGHT NOW GIT ANYMORE OFFERS IF YA DONT CHANGE

IDLE THREAGHT

SO FAR LOOKS LIKE OLD SCHOOL METAL,BUT WE SHALL SEE,THE GROUP SOUNDS LIKE A MODERN DAY JUDIST PRIEST,GEART VOCALS, KILLER FUCKIN MUSIC AN TALENT DIDNT EXPECT THIS, PAIN LINK WOULD BE PROUD! CANT REALLY FIND ANY FLAWS IN THIS BAND,BUT ONE THANG WHY DID YA HAVE TO SQUEAL LIKE A PIG IN THE 3RD SONG?(REMINDED ME OF HOME) KEY BOARDS REALLY BRUNG OUT THIS SOUND FOR THIS BAND, LAST SONG TOO LONG,BUT ANY WHO AWESOME SHOW,GIVE IT UP 3 ROUNDS 3:1 PAIN LINK STYLE

WRECKED

WAS TOLD THIS IS NOT A METAL BAND! HA! THEY HIT THE STAGE WITH A BANG! I WAS BLOWN AWAY, FOR THIS YOUNG BAND TO DO COVER SONGS! WOW ANY BODY WHO SINGS JOHNNY CASH WITH A TWIST OF METAL, WINS MY VOTE! NOW I HAVE TO DO THIS....... TIM I HAVE A NICKNAME FOR YA BRO...... CAVEMAN! WHY CUZ YER TALENT PLAYIN THE BASS.... LOOKS SO EASY EVEN A CAVEMAN CAN DO IT! I WANT TO SEE YA WITH A BASS THAT LOOKS LIKE A CAVEMAN CLUB CUZ YER GONNA KNOCK OUT THE CROWD WITH YER FUCKIN TALENT! I SAY TO EVERYONE GIT OUT AN CHECK THIS BAND OUT THEY WILL MOVE YA LIKE JUICEY FRUIT GUM! VOCALS WERE FUCKIN AWESOME THE SKINNY LIL GUY CAN FUCKIN SANG, AN THE TALENT IS AHEAD OF THEIR TIME THESE GUYS ROCK!HAVE SOME SHOTS ON THE REDNECK 3:1 PAIN LINK STYLE!

WELL THATS ALL FOR THE REVIEWS 2 SHOWS 2 NITES,SHOW YER SUPPORT FOR LOCAL METAL AN SHOW YER FUCKIN METAL HORNS PROUD! ALSO THIS IS JUST MY OPINION,IF YA DON'T LIKE IT TELL ME,IF YA DO ENJOY!
UNTIL NEXT TIME!

REDNECK REVIEW #5

WHISKEY DICKS
5/18/07
80'S METAL FEST!

WE START OFF THE NIGHT WITH A ROLLIN ROCK!,THE WE WAIT FOR DANGER ANGEL TO HIT THE STAGE,THEY ALL HAD WIGS ON "LAME",THE MUSIC WAS OK BUT HERES THE PROBLEM......................... THE SOUND GUY FUCKED THE WHOLE GIG UP FOR THEM,SO IM NOT GONNA PUNISH THIS BAND CUZ OF THE FUCKIN SOUND GUY,THEN DANGER ANGEL WENT 3 SONGS OVER,NEXT IN LINE..............

DRUG STORE VALENTINE

WOW! IM IMPRESSED!MY GOD THEY SOUNDED THE BEST EVER,THEY HIT THE STAGE WITH A BANG! THEY DREW THE CROWD UP TO THE STAGE,AN ROCKED THE PLACE,KENNY WHATS UP MAN YER VOCALS HIT EVERY NOTE?CURLY YA BROKE A STRING? LEE AINT YER FAULT WE COULDNT HEAR YER DRUMS(ONCE AGAIN THE FUCKIN SOUND GUY) BUT ALL IN ALL DANGER ANGEL & D-S-V DID A WONDERFUL SHOW, AN HEARS A NOTE TO REMEMBER THESE 2 HARD WORKIN BANDS DID NOT AN I REPEAT DID NOT GET A FUCKIN DIME FOR THERE SHOW! NOW THATS SAD! HEY WHISKEY DICKS DO YA'LL EXPECT LOCAL BANDS TO PAY TO PLAY? NO DISCOUNT ON BOOZE EITHER, U SUCK! BUT ANY WHO BACK TO THE REVIEW..... D-S-V SAID THEY HAD 2 MORE SONGS AN THEY DESERVED THE SPOT LITE BUT........ THIS LITTLE MIDGIT DUDE SLASH WANNABE SAID ONE MORE SONG AN THATS ALL,NEEDLESS TO SAY THE OZZ MAN WAS PISSED! DONT BLAME HIM,2 SONGS CUT SHORT!SO TO THE BAND D-S-V GRAB YER FUCKIN SHOT GLASSES..... 3 FUCKIN ROUNDS ON THE REDNECK!

G-N-R

GUNS-N-ROSES COVER BAND!
I GOT 2 WORDS FOR YA'LL....... YA SUCK! THE LEAD SINGER WHO TRIED TO BE AXEL ROSE,WELL AXEL IS MUCH SHORTER THAN YOU AN SINGS A HELLOFA LOT BETTER THAN YOU,AN FOR GODS SAKE KEEP YER FUCKIN SHIRT ON!
THE LIL MIDGIT DUDE WHO THOUGHT HE WAS SLASH...... LOL OMGOSH DUDE, YOU WERE HORID,TOO DAMN SHORT,YA'LL LOOKED LIKE A FREAK SHOW,JOIN THE FUCKIN CIRCUS,YA'LL SHOULD HAVE PAID US TO HEAR YA TRY TO SING,SO THERES THE PUNISHMENT FOR G-N-R
NEXT POSER!

POSER

WOW THESE GUYS CAME OUT HARD AN STRONG THE FIRST SONG QUIET RIOT! FUCKIN AWESOME THEN TWISTED SISTER,THEN RATT OMGOSH METAL HEAVEN!!!!!!!!
THESE GUYS ROCKED THE STAGE AND THE CROWD WAS WAITIN FOR THIS GUY C.C.DEVILLE,YES THE ONE AN ONLY C.C DEVILLE, HE CAME ON STAGE AN THE CROWD WENT NUTS HE ROCKED WITH POSER AN SOME OF THE CROWD AN HAD THIS DUDE COME UP AN SING WITH HIM,AN I BET C.C LOVED THE DRUNK WASTED GIRL HANGIN ON HIM,THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA UPCHUCK ON HIM ACOUPLE OF TIMES,BUT ALL N ALL THE POSER SKIT WAS A FUCKIN HIT
THIS IS THE PART OF THE REVIEW WHERE I GIVE SHOUT OUTS: PAUL E KING , PERK OF A-N-W LOVE PARTYIN WITH YA'S,LEE OF D-S-V ENJOYED CHATTIN WITH YA AN HANIN OUT(AN NO I DIDNT CALL YER G/F A CARP, SHE A LADY FISH)
BUT TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO SAID HI TO THE REDNECK,AN LIKE THE REVIEWS .... HI BACK!

WELP THIS RAPS IT UP FOR ME, SO READ-UM COMMENT-UM AN SHOW YER SUPPORT FOR AL LOCAL METAL! UNTIL NET TIME......... SHOW THE FUCKIN METAL HORNS!

REDNECK REVIEW #4

WICKED INTENT

I WALKED IN LATER AN I CAUGHT UP WITH THEM SININ RED HOT,AND THEY ARE RED HOT,THEY HAVE AN AWESOME SOUND,RYAN WHEN ARE YA GONNA CUT THE HAIR BRO,YA LOOK LIKE YA GOT SOME SOUL GLOW ACTIVATOR ON THE CROP OF HAIR! PAUL D BRO YER ALMOST A ROCK STAR LOLO JUST KIDDIN YER GOOD, BIG BILL I DIDNT SEE YA DROP ANY STICKS,AN BTW AWESOME FUCKIN (SHORT) DRUM SOLO THERE,HAVE TO SAY WICKED INTENT IS A LOCAL BAND TO CONTEND WITH,THE VOICE AN LOOKS OF CHRISTY SAYS IT ALL. NO PUNISHMENT FOR THIS BAND, ROCK ON YA'LL!

DRUGSTORE VALENTINE

ARE WE GONNA SEE A GRAND INTRO FROM KENNY OZZ?WHERE THE HELL IS THE DRUMMER?WELL WE GOT THE GRAND INTRO FROM KENNY THE FISRT 2 SONGS WELL LETS SAY OK A BIT CABARETISH,LIKE ON A CRUISE SHIP, THE THIRD SONG, HELL I DIDNT KNOW DSV COULD DO COUNTRY INA METAL SORT OF WAY,HEY KENNY TRY THE STRIPPERS POLE! HE DID! DSV HAS A COLUMBUS CHAPTER THAT CAME TO SEE THE SHOW AS WELL.... WOW! FOR ALL YA'LL WHO WANT TO SEE DSV PLAY LET ME TELL YA SOMTHIN, KENNY OZZ IS A GREAT FRONT MAN HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO KEEPS THE CROWD ENTERTAINED,AS FOR THE MUSIC KINDA PICTURE THE SOUNDS OF THE BEASTIE BOYS,POISON,AN A LIL OF ADAM SANDLER TOGETHER AN YA GOT DSV,I WILL ADMIT THEY HAVE A BALL UP THERE,THE NEW SONG END OF THE ROAD..... IS THAT A HINT? JUST KIDDIN KENNY,HERE THE PUNISHMENT FOR THIS BAND...... FIRST YA'LL NEED TO LEARN TO SING T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R, EVERYONE WHO SANG WAS COMPETEIN WITH THE OTHER ,AS LONG AS KENNY IS SINGIN THEY SOUND OK,BUT AS SOON AS THE OTHER 2 OPEN THERE TRAPS THEY ALL SOUND HIDEOUS,I'VE HEARD CHICKENS CLUCK BETTER,LET KENNY DO ALL THE VOCALS AN THE BAND WILL BE A HIT,AN GOOD LUCK ON YER CD.

HOOKERS & BLOW

DIDNT SEE NO HOOKERS BUT THIS BAND BLOWS AT SINGIN COVER SONGS, THE LEAD SINGER JIZZY WELL HE'S MORE DIZZY THAN JIZZY,LEAD 6 STRINGER SINGS BETTER AN CAN PLAY THE 6 STRINGER,THE DRUMMER FUCKIN ROCKED, THE BASSEST WELL I THINK HE'S GAY! ALL N ALL I DIDNT THINK THE BAND WAS ALL THAT, IT DIDNT MOVE ME OUT OF MY CHAIR AN I WASN'T IMPRESSED,AN I HEARD SOME OF THESE GUYS PLAYED IN TOP HIT BANDS LIKE RATT, GUNS N ROSES, WELL I CAN SEE NOW WHY THEY AINT,THANK GOD I ONLY PAID 5 BUCK TO SEE THE HEAD LINER, ALL THE MONEY SHOULD GOTO THE LOCAL BANDS WHO ROCKED THE PLACE LAST NIGHT,SO THERE THE PUNISHMENT FROM THE REDNECK REVIEW GUY A.K.A THE PUNISHER!

REDNECK REVIEWS # 2/3

2 NITES 2 SHOWSWE START OFF WITH FRI,NITE WENT TO CHARLIES THROTTLE STOP SEEN A BAND CALLED POKER FACE,A COVER BAND,A BAD COVER BAND, ONE OF THE WORST I HEARD IN A LONG TIME,THEY PLAYED LAME COVER SONGS, IT SEEMED LIKE THE ONLY PEOPLE THERE WHERE THE FRIENDS AN FAMILY OF THE BAND,ALL I CAN SAY TO THIS BAND IS DO NOT AN I REPEAT DO NOT GIVE UP YER DAY JOBS,BETTER YET GIT A SECOND JOB TO SAVE US ALL THE EAR PIERCIN PAIN OF EVER HEARIN YA'LL AGAIN.SAT NITE WENT TO WHISKEY WILLIES AN SEEN PRIZONER AGAIN, LET ME TELL YA'LL FOR A COVER BAND THEY RAWK! GREG,TIM,SCOTT,AN STEPHEN MAY HAVE BEEN AROUND FOREVER BUT THERE IS ONE THING...............THEY CAN PLAY SOME KILLER MUSIC, WHEN TIM SINGS AC/DC WOW ITS LIKE BEING AT THE AC/DC CONCERT, GREG HAS A KILLER VOICE AN A GREAT SENCE OF HUMOR,HE KEEPS THE CROWD THERE AN ROCKIN THE PLACE,TIM IS AWESOME ON THE 6-STRINGER,SCOTT DID FINALLY MOVE MORE ON THE STAGE, AN STEPHEN ON THE DRUM BRO YA STILL LOOK LIKE A DUDE OFF THE MSNBC SHOW LOCK UPBUT ALL N ALL YA'LL NEED TO GIT OUT AN CHECK THIS AWESOME COVER BAND OUT,K FELLAS GRAB YER SHOT GLASSES......................................2 ROUNDS OF JAG 3:1 REDNECK STYLE!

REDNECK REVIEW #1

CHARLIES THROTTLE STOP

MARCH 31 2007

PRIZONER

THE BAND HIT THE STAGE PRETTY HARD AN HEAVY FOR A COVER BAND,AT FIRST YA COULDN'T HEAR GREG SING(BUT WE LATER FOUND OUT SCOTT'S AMP WAS TO LOUD) THIS BAND CAN REALLY NAIL THE COVER SONGS OF YESTERDAY AND TODAY,TIM CAN SING AS WELL PLAY THE 6-STRINGER,WATCH OUT AC-DC,GREP HAS A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR AN KEEPS THE CROWD INTERESTED,SCOTT WILL WEAR A HOLE IN THE STAGE FROM PACEIN SO MUCH,HE NEEDS TO DO MORE THAN PACE,TIM YA GOT TALENT,MORE THAN I EXSPECTED KEEP ON ROCKIN,NOW FOR STEPHEN, WELL HE LOOKS LIKE A GUY FROM THE A&E SHOW LOCK-UP,BUT A KILLER DRUMMER.NOW FOR AN EXTRA NOTE: WE MET RHONDA & NATALIE,THESE 2 ASKED IF THEY COULD SIT AT OUR TABLE,I SAID SURE BUT IT'LL COST YA $40.00 BUCKS,SO THEY TOLD ME THEIR LIFE STORY,THEY BEEN PRIZONER FANS SINCE 1986, AND THEY BEEN FRIENDS FOR 35 YRSYA'LL COULD TELL THEY LOVED PRIZNOER,AN THREATIN ME TO GIVE A GOOD REVIEW FOR PRIZONER,WELL I DID,ALSO LIKE TO GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO THE ONE AN ONLY BEST SPORTS ROCKER OF ALL TIME.................... THE WILDMAN WALKER OF W-E-B-N, THANKS FOR SUPPORTIN LOCAL BANDS! UNTIL NEXT TIME.

REDNECK REVIEW GUY!