REDNECK REVIEW #9

TOP CATS

7-13-07

WRECKED

I DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY BOUT THIS BAND BUT OUT-FUCKIN-RAGEOUS! PEOPLE SAY IF YA TALK TOO MUCH BOUT A BAND YA CAN JINX EM! BUT THIS BAND NEVER! WAY TOO PROFESSIONAL! WELP THEY SOUND CHECKED WITH A LIL BLACK LABEL SOCIETY, THEN OPENED UP WITH FORCE. NOW THIS IS GONNA BE AN ALL ROUND SHOW, WHY YA ASK? WELP ONLY 2 BANDS HERE! WRECKED & BENEATH OBLIVION. SO WE WILL MAKE ONE SHORT REVIEW. JAKE EARNED HIS REDNECK REVIEW GUY TSHIRT, HE BLEW THE PA. AWESOME. KENT BRO, YER VOX'S FUCKIN ROCK, I'LL BET YA SANG FOR YER GLEE CLUB IN SCHOOL! I CANT STRESS ENOUGH BOUT THIS BANDS FUCKIN TALENT, THE COVERS SOUND LIKE THE REAL THING! KENT DIDNT WANT THE SHOW REVIEWED, THEN THEY HIT THE MAN IN BLACK JOHNNY CASH FOR A TOTAL OF 13 PEOPLE, PERFECT FOR FRIDAY THE 13TH! HOW CAN I NOT REVIEW THIS SHOW, SOMEONE HAS TO TELL THE STORY! DOOGLE BROKE A STRONG ON HIS 6-STRINGER, 3:31 SEC TO CHANGE THE STRING, IT'S NOT NASCAR.................... IT'S FUCKIN' METAL!! YA'LL NEED TO CHECK OUT THIS BAND FROM INDY CALLED WRECKED! YA'LL WILL SEE WHY THEY ARE NO. 3 ON THE REDNECK ICONS LIST! HORNS UP FUCKERS!

BENEATH OBLIVION

TOO LOUD! LEAD SINGER SOUNDS LIKE A RABBIT IN DISTRESS. HOW MANY SONGS DO YOU DO THAT SOUND UMMMM ALIKE? WHAT DO YA CALL THIS STYLE? BASS DUDE YER MOLESTING YER BASS, LET ME GUESS YA BEEN SINGLE A LONG TIME? SOME REALLY WHACKED OUT CHICK JUMPED THE STAGE, WAS BUTT HUMPIN THE BAND MEMBERS. I BET SHE HAD A BIGGER DICK THAN MOST OF THE BAND MEMBERS ONSTAGE. WHEN SHE WAS AT THE BAR SHE YELLED TO A BAND MEMBER THAT SHE HATED HIM BUT SHE LOVED HIS FUCKIN' ASSHOLE. THATS JUST NOT METAL. THIS BAND COULD REALLY KILL METAL. COULD WE CALL IT MIDEVIL METAL? MAYBE IF WE WERE IN A CASTLE PLAYIN FOR MAYBE A HALF DEAD KING THIS WOULD PROBABLY BE SUITABLE BACK IN 1491. BUT IN TODAYS METAL SOCIETY YER MUSIC MUST NOT SOUND ALIKE FOR 6 SONGS STRAIGHT. THIS WAS THE MOST HORRIBLE EAR PIERCIN CONGLOMMORATED JUNK I'VE EVER HEARD! SORRY CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS! NO STYLE, JUST FLAT OUT SUCKED BALLS, PLEASE PLEASE I STRESS FOR THE MOST PART TAKE YER INSTRUMENTS, SELL EM, GO BACK TO MCD'S AND GET A JOB. THIS IS NOT FOR YOU AT ALL. NEVER. I THOUGHT BLUDSHOT GAVE ME A HEADACHE, YA'LL MAKE A DEAD MAN COMMITT SUICIDE! DO NOT PASS GO PLEASE DONT EVER TRY TO GET PAID FOR THIS CUZ YOU WONT. THIS IS THE PERFECT EXAMPLE OF WHY DRUGS MESS UP YER BRAIN!