REDNECK REVIEW #13

THE MAD HATTER
SEPTEMBER 29, 2007

GRIEVING EXISTENCE

WAS INVITED BY THIS BAND TO DO A REVIEW, NO BIGGIE I WILL COME OUT TO THIS SHOW AN DO A REVIEW JUST ARE THEY READY FOR THE PUNISHMENT? WELL THEY STARTED THE SHOW KINDA WEAK THEY DIDN'T DO TOO MANY SONGS BECAUSE APPARENTLY ANOTHER BAND WAS ADDED TO THE BILL SO THEY ONLY HAD 20 MINUTES TO IMPRESS ME. TO BE TOTALLY HONEST I CAN'T BE BRUTAL TO THIS BAND BECAUSE OF THE FACT I DID NOT GET TO HEAR A FULL SET, THEY WERE IN A HURRY THEY DIDN'T SOUND ALL THAT GREAT AN THEY DESERVE A FAIR REVIEW.


THE SECOND BAND

DON'T KNOW YER NAME OF YER BAND AN IT DON'T REALLY MATTER CUZ YOU SUCK! EVERY SONG YOU PLAYED WITH THAT KID ON THE 6-STRINGER SINGING IN THE MICROPHONE MY EARS WERE SOUNDINGLY RAPED! HIS SINGING COULD WAKE A DEAD MAN AN MAKE HIM WANNA COMMIT SUICIDE! I KNOW YA'LL ARE YOUNG I KNOW YER GONNA READ THIS AN THERE'S LIKE 5 OF YA LIL GUYS RUNNIN AROUND IN THAT GROUP AN YER ALL GONNA PROBABLY WANNA KICK MY ASS FOR SAYIN THIS BUT YOU ALL JUST FLAT OUT SUCK! HELL EVEN THE JUMPIN JACK KIDS THAT SWING THEIR ARMS AROUND AN KICK EVERYTHING AN ALWAYS HUGGIN EACH OTHER DIDN'T EVEN MOVE MUCH EXCEPT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. SO WHAT DOES THAT TELL YA?

NOA

UNLIKE THE SECOND BAND I WILL TAKE MY HAT OFF FOR THIS BAND ONE TIME AN ONE TIME ONLY. I'M NOT A HUGE FAN OF THIS GROUP NOR WILL I PROBABLY EVER WILL BE BUT THEY DO HAVE SOME TALENT.THE ONLY THING I CAN REALLY SAY FOR THIS GROUP IS TO LEARN FROM OTHER GROUPS. THERE IS A SMALL AN I DO MEAN SMALL POTENTIAL FOR THIS BAND. THE ONLY THING THEY DO HAVE GOIN FOR THEM IS THEY ARE YOUNG. AS LONG AS THEIR NOT DUMB AN TAKE SOME GOOD ADVICE THEY WILL BE JUST FINE. NOW LET'S GET TO THE REAL SHOW!

RETRIBUTION

I THINK I'VE SAID IT ALL IN PREVIOUS REVIEWS ABOUT THIS BAND, TONIGHT IS ANOTHER PRIME EXAMPLE WHY THIS BAND IS A REDNECK LOCAL ICON! NOT ONLY DID BIG RYAN LET HIS HAIR GROW OUT TO MAKE HIMSELF LOOK LIKE A REAL METAL HEAD BUT THEY ADDED ANOTHER 6-STRINGER TO THE GROUP AN HOLY FUCK PEOPLE I CAN NOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CD! I'M SURE THERE WERE TIMES IN THIS BAND'S EXISTENCE WHERE THEY THOUGHT IT WAS TIME TO HANG IT UP AN CALL IT QUITS BUT AS YOU CAN SEE THE MAGNITUDE AN THE TALENT THIS BAND PRESENTS TO US TONIGHT PROVES THEM WRONG AN ANYBODY ELSE WRONG. THIS BAND DESERVES MORE THAN ANY SHOTS I CAN GIVE THEM, THEY DESERVE THE RECOGNITION TO BE NATIONAL!

PAIN LINK

IS IT REALLY FAIR TO GIVE THESE GUYS ANOTHER REVIEW SINCE I'VE DONE SO MANY ON EM? YOU CAN'T FIND ANYTHING TO SAY WRONG ABOUT EM. THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY IS HORNS UP FUCKERS! KEEP IT GOIN AN BRANDON DON'T TOUCH MY HAT AGAIN!

BENEATH THE SKY

DUDES SINCE THE LAST TIME I'VE SEEN YA AN I NEVER DID A REVIEW ON YA THEN I'M GONNA DO ONE ON YA NOW. VERY VERY VERY IMPRESSED WITH THIS BAND, THEY'VE COME A LONG WAY. THEY'VE WORKED HARD AN THE SOUNDS OF THEIR MUSIC PROVES THEY'VE WORKED HARD! THE ONLY THING I'M STILL TRYIN TO GET USED TO IS THE STYLE OF METAL THIS BAND PRESENTS WITH A KEYBOARD. DON'T MAKE MUCH SENSE. BRINGING KEYBOARDS INTO THIS STYLE OF MUSIC IS KINDA LIKE PUTTIN NEONS UNDER YER TRACTORS BEFORE YA GO OUT AN PLOW THE FIELD! IT'S A LITTLE DIFFERENT BUT IT IS POSSIBLE. SO YA'LL GIT OUT THERE SHOW YER SUPPORT FOR THIS BAND AN GIVE EM 3 ROUNDS JEG PAIN LINK STYLE 3:1!


FIRST THING AN MOST IMPORTANT LET'S GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO CHRIS LEE AN SAY WE ARE HAPPY THAT HE IS RECOVERING WELL AFTER HIS SURGERY AN WE HOPE THAT THE CANCER IS GONE. A SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO THE JUMPIN JACK CARTWHEEL FLIPPIN ARM SWINGIN KIDS FROM HELL, WHEN PAIN LINK OFFERED YOU THEIR SONG MOSH PIT MAFIA TAKE IT FROM THE OLD FOLKS AN LEARN HOW TO MOSH BECAUSE I THOUGHT YA'LL WERE TOO WEAK FOR A REAL BAND! LEARN HOW TO MOSH! ONE MORE REVIEW COMING UP FOR THE YEAR, SO STAY TUNED TO HEAR IT FROM ME THE REDNECK REVIEW GUY COMIN FROM LEXINGTON KENTUCKY TO REPORT TO YOU ONE HELL OF A KENTUCKY SHOW! HORNS UP FUCKERS!