REDNECK REVIEW #11

THE MADISON THEATER
AUGUST 24, 2007

SUBVINYL

BOY WHAT A BAND, THE MUSIC SOFT, EASY LISTENIN'...... PERFECT FOR WARM 98! HEY YA'LL THE ONLY PERSON IN THE GROUP HAVIN' ANY FUN IS THE DRUMMER, FUCK! YA'LL DO SOME DRUGS OR SOMETHIN! VERY BORING YA'LL ARE A ROCK BAND ACT LIKE IT! AN FIGURE THIS ONE OUT AN ACOUSTIC 6-STRING PLUGGED INTO AN AMP AND CANT HEAR IT! NO BEER FOR A BAND WHO DRINK MICHELOB ULTRA! FUCKIN DO SHOTS IT WILL LOOSEN YA UP! AW HELL THE CROWD HERE FOR THIS BAND IS THE WHOLE FUCKIN RETIREMENT COMMUNITY! I HAVE PICS TO PROVE THIS! K MAYBE THEY ALL MIGHT BE FAMILY MEMBERS BUT HOLY HELL THE OPPORTUNITY TO PLAY A STAGE WITH THIS MAGNITUDE AN YA BRING YER FAMILY! WHAT A WASTE! THE GIRL SINGER IVE SEEN MORE FACIAL EXPRESSIONS OUT OF HER THAN IVE SEEN IN A JAPANESE EDITED MOVIE! YOU COULD PUT JAPANESE SUB-TITLED WORDS TO HER SINGIN AND WALA ITS A JAPANESE MOVIE!

GRAVITY PLOW

THE SECOND BAND DONT KNOW THE NAME BUT HOW DOES FREAK FUCK SHOW SOUND? THE ONE 6-STRINGER DUDE WORE A PANTERA SHIRT.... EVEN PHIL WOULD KICK HIS ASS FOR THE WAY HE WORE HIS HAIR! WHAT A FUCKED UP GIG! MOMBO ANYONE, THE LEAD SINGER HOLLERED OUT THIS IS A ROCK SHOW, AN THE BAND NEVER PLAYED ANYTHING REMOTELY ROCK! THESE GUYS HAVE A LOT OF GARAGE PLAYS! THIS GROUP HAS ONE ISSUE.... THEY SUCK! I FEEL LIKE I'M AT A EARTH WIND AN FIRE SHOW! AN YES THE 2ND 6-STRINGER DUDE DOES LOOK A LOT LIKE BUD BUNDY! NOT ONLY DOES HE LOOK LIKE BUD BUNDY, BUT I BET HE HAS THE SAME SEX LIFE AS BUD BUNDY, NONE! AN IF HE DONT STOP DANCIN I'M GONNA PUKE! I WOULDN'T RECOMMEND THIS BAND TO A CONCERT FOR THE DEAF! THEY WOULD EVEN FIND IT VERY UNAMUSING AND VERY VERY VERY BORING!

THE SCREAMING KINGS

WHAT A FUCKIN PERFORMANCE! THESE DUDES CAN ROCK, I WAS TOLD THERE WAS GONNA BE A ROCK SHOW HERE.... THE FIRST 2 BANDS WERE NOT AND DID NOT ROCK BUT LET TEDDY B AND THE KINGS HIT THE STAGE AND BANG A FUCKIN ROCK SHOW TO FEAST YER EARS ON! IVE SEEN THIS BAND BEFORE AN EVERYTIME I SEE THEM IT GETS BETTER, THE BAND THEMSELVES HAVE FUCKIN BECOME THE ONE AN ONLY SOUND OF THE SCREAMING KINGS, TEDDY B AND THE KINGS, WELCOME TO THE LIST OF THE REDNECK ICONS! FOR ALL THE ONES WHO KNEW ABOUT THE SHOW AND DIDN'T SHOW UP, SHAME ON YOU! TEDDY WILL GET YOU! SHOT GLASS UP FUCKERS! 4 ROUNDS 3:1 PAIN LINK STYLE!

BASTION

AFTER HEARING THE FIRST 2 BANDS AN THEN YA'LL HAVE TO FOLLOW THE SCREAMING KINGS? NOT A GOOD MOVE FOR YA'LL BECAUSE HEARING YOUR FIRST SONG TRAUMATIZED ME SO BAD THAT MY EARS WERE VIOLATED. YOU SOUNDED NO BETTER THAN THE FIRST 2 BANDS. HOW DARE YOU! THE NEXT TIME YOU FEEL LIKE YER GONNA BE IN A SHOW ALWAYS FOLLOW A GROUP THAT SUCKS WORSE THAN YOU!


ONCE AGAIN ANOTHER WELL THOUGHT OF REVIEW. TO ALL THE BANDS WHO PARTICIPATED AN I TOLD YOU THAT YOU SUCKED TAKE MY ADVICE AND GET BETTER! I WANNA MAKE A SHOUT OUT TO THE BROWN EYED SUGAR MONKEY (MELISSA) CANT WAIT TO WORK WITH YA SOON! A DEFINATE HOWDY TO THE PAIN LINK BOYS AND DAVEY MAC AND SEAN BOYLE! FUCKIN ROCKED TO SEE YA'LL THERE LAST NIGHT, CANT WAIT TO SEE YA'LL AGAIN. UNTIL NEXT TIME HORNS UP FUCKERS!